ABOUT MYSELF
Till about a month ago i used to be just an other Christian, believing in the heavenly father's goodness, mercy, an unimaginable PLAN for me thats beyond imagination Etc.. praying at church every day, 1/10th of my earnings to the church & charity and my complete initial earnings of every venture to the lord and such things. (At this stage i feel like kickin myself for wasting so much money on him, his good for nothing church, charity Etc,..)
Right from my graduation (9 yrs ago) things were not happening the way it should be for a BELIEVER.I was a constant failure in each and everything i did. (most of those are certainly not my fault).. took it as a testing period of my FAITH.Now at the age of 31, i stand alone with my last earned bread in july 2007, since then have lived on my savings so far..STILL CONSIDERED IT AS A TEST OF FAITH..NOW ALL MY SAVINGS ARE DONE WITH.. PENNILESS.. HAVE A BUSINESS THAT HAVENT SEEN INCOME FOR THE PAST 1 1/2 YRS. The final blow was my last attempt to earn a honest living in december of 2008.. saw the last of my money vanish.
TO BE FRANK I AM AFRAID TO CONTINUE TO TRUST IN A TREACHEROUS GOD WHO HAS COZILY SEEN ME DETORIATE TO THIS STAGE..
As an INDIAN christian, the struggle was always between my dad and myself (my mom's an absolute angel, i adore.love & worship her) (he believes in astrologers, blackmagicians Etc,..Bible, church and god are on the least of his faith list) . He is peaceful at heart and sucessful in everything he does, I was a guy who tried to correct my dad, as he trusted such things and not the Heavenly father. I can say with a clear mind that i have tried to live my life, following the bible to the maximum possible extent.I have failed many times and sinned but have suceeded in controlling my temptations too.
Today my own life clearly shows i am wrong in trusting this good for nothing, vindictive, arrogant, jelousy & vengence rich, cursing, sadistic,treacherous, untrustworthy, unreliable GOD, while my dad was right.. after all he is sucessful & prosperous in each and everything he does, while me, a total failure.
When i tried to find answers i discovered i was not the last person this so called "GOD OF EVERLASTING LOVE & MERCY" has let down.
AFTER ALL, WHO CAN DEBATE THAT HE WAS THE LEAST RELIABLE & TRUSTWORTHY PERSON TO THE 6 MILLION OF HIS "CHOSEN ONES" (JEWS) WHO ENDED UP IN HITLER'S OVENS.
When i am troubled i always pray and open the bible and read the first verse that comes to me..and continue to read the entire chapter.. so far it has been correct.So as usual ,I tried to find the answers to my disasters from my bible and guess what i got.. the 2nd chapter of HAGGAI.. on some future date(PLS Note no fixed date) he will bless my house n me ... This is the LIMIT.
my personal experience & comman sense tells me not to trust him anymore as he has consistently proven that "he enjoys spitting on the faith I placed on him".
no point in beating around the bush... i guess,
When i was knee deep in trouble i trusted him as a test of MY FAITH..
when i was waist deep i still trusted.. (should have smartened up then )
whan i was chest deep in trouble.. i was dumb enough to trust him...
now i am neck deep in trouble.. AND DONT WANT TO PROVIDE HIM AN OPPURTUNITY TO SPIT ON MY FAITH AGAIN.. COZ THEN I WILL BE SUFFOCATING & PERISH IN DISGRACE.
So, if there are any enlightened soul(s) out there , with similar experience as me, and has sucessfully got RID of this good for nothing treacherous god out of their life.. pls share your experience with me..
My fellow mankind out there...
Pls dont mock my question.. i am troubled.. all i want to is end my wrong faith i have followed for 31 years of my life and continue with the rest of it with a clear mind & soul... which will show me a decent and honest way to earn my bread, and a peaceful sleep at night. i dont even hope for wife family & children. just a night of peaceful sleep at night.

