I'm very confused about a lot of things regarding what I'm doing in life. Most of which, I'm active duty in the Navy and as an Engineer on a LCU, my job can be pretty depressing. It's not really just the job, it's what I do and I feel that it's affecting me to the point where I just want to grab a bottle and drink all day and even worse, I seem to converse pretty well when I drink a lot of liquor but of course, I don't like the fact that it tends to make me a little bit of an asshole some times.
My main problem is that I feel like I don't want any friends and at the same time I seem to actually care for many of those people even though I can give a rats *** what they think about me. After coming back from Haiti, I thought I would be more understanding about what's going on but instead it just made me that much more depressed. I've always had this feeling, even since I was a kid and though, I have gotten far better, it just feels like I'm always going to be someone I'm not.
I just hate that I always feel so envious of my friends and can't understand why I can't be that way. I'm really not someone to ask for help, especially for something so personal but I'm having trouble trusting those around me and I'm just hoping someone can just point me in the right direction.1 AnswerMental Health1 decade ago