hi hun, many people feel like this at some point in their lives ts only normal, and yes your problems dont seem that bad to an outsider but we are all individual and so things will obviously effect people differently- one mans mountin is another mans molehill as my dad used to say. can i ask, regarding the therapist, why its free?? I am 25 have had depression several times in my life and felt completely suicidal due to some pretty rough Sh1t that's happened to me so I have now come off the pills and had whats called analytical hypnotherapy, but it was expensive. It is very helpful at releasing deep routed anxieties that cause us to react in the way we do to what seem like superficial problems- thus makig them feel overwhelming .
You are at a dificult age which doesnt help, not quite an adult, not a child anymore and it is a confusing part of your life especially to be in another country where you dont know people, trust have come from a bad relationship and moved 4 times in a year had 3 jobs in that time due to a recession i now owe 3 grand as the course i tried was not legit and i know very few people here, hate my job and get no sleep in my house in fact have slept on the floor for 3 months in my living room- in short, life deals you sh1t and always will do, its the fun part of it and it ,happens to us all , only you can fix the issue. maybe consder learning to drive so you can get to work yourself, or look at public transport, you are 19 you dont have to even stay with your parents now, you can go off and make your life. Look at changing the course, or quit if you hate it that much. Try to get out and meet people I'm sure there are things to do around you with people your age in such a great place- i see you love the beach? get down there , meet people : ) . I know how hard it is trust me I've moved loads of times in my life since i was born and been though about 17 jobs, but it doesnt have to be overwhelming, there is a flip side to everthing remember that. Hey you are in a really amazing and beautiful part of the world, try and embrace it , you are very lucky to be seeing another country so enjoy it ! if you cant then move on somewhere else its not as scary as it may seem, i moved to London with £ 20 and a suitcase last year after being stuck 10 years somewhere i hated, you'll be fine but you need to find happiness in yourself or no matter where you live in the world you wont ever be happy, its that simple. dont lose conact with people from home, it will help you feel less alone & still keep that connection.
I know, personally too how soul destoying the whole parent thing can be, my parenting is very mesed up, but that is who you are and who your family is sadly you cant change that just learn to live with it and know it doesnt make you a bad person. Have you sat and talked to you family about how you feel? Its not easy when people's answer is simply "get over it" i know, sadly people who havent had depression will often have that opinion beacuse they just simply dont understand the nature of it! so, personally i suggest you try the therapy even if only a few times to see how you feel. It is hard and can be very very painful at the time i wont lie, but can be very helpful to you in the long run.
Life is what we make it at the end of the day, this is it, no rehearsals, when its done its done so think of all the things that would make you happiest, get up, go out there and make it happen , for yourself. Try to think every day of at least one thing that makes you happy, one thing to be glad about. The thing I have, is a bracelet i wear on my right arm, each time i feel crap i move it to my lfet arm, it makes you see just how many bad thoughts you have in one day and when you realise it can shock you enough to think, its not worth it its certainly not worth giving up on life alltogether!
( fail whale, you didnt need to be QUITE so harsh about it though..many people have actually wanted to die, and im sorry for your at some point many people have lost loved ones you arent the only one either, you don't need to be so dam cruel, depression, is depression it effects people in many ways and it obsucres ones outlook on life. )
Experience ; )