I feel so depressed!!!Pls help cant stop crying!Have u ever felt so down u just want to die or trash ur room?

Long story short I moved countries with family. I hate it loads have no friends yet, cant get a job, doing a course i hate, fighting constantly with family and feeling that I don't matter anymore to my parents. I have to make a choice of staying with my family or leaving and going back home to live with... show more Long story short I moved countries with family. I hate it loads have no friends yet, cant get a job, doing a course i hate, fighting constantly with family and feeling that I don't matter anymore to my parents. I have to make a choice of staying with my family or leaving and going back home to live with relatives where I am happier and where my heart is and it kills me to leave my family. Im having a really bad day i just feel scared and alone and i wanna go home.. and i feel like im not a priority in my family... like eg if my sister has horse riding and i have work.. my mum wont bring me cause she doesnt want to get up at 7 in de morning to drop me b4 my sister to horse riding so im left standing for over a hour on my own in the cold waiting for work. but my sister gets in on time. ya no stuff like that and i know its so childish to be upset over that but im not its just when im having a **** day and then something like that happens i feel worse and the therapist (i asked to see one) my dad wants me to see(he wants me to see this one cus its free-but we dont have a prob with money so dont think im being greedy) cant take me at weekends and i cant do it during the week, cause of work experience, and my dads like oh well you'll have to wait till ur finished in 3 weeks and i cant im so down and that happened today and cause i was upset already it made me even worse and ugh now im at breaking point.

:( :( oh guys what will i do? my life is a mess and i don't want it anymore like this I know i might seem spoilt or something but im far from it im just so overwhelmed and i can't handle it
Update: @fail whale I didn't say my life was worse than others but just simply that I can't handle all the change and **** I'm going through I also have had relatives who have dies from cancer, my own real dad doesn't have anything to do with me nor my mum. I do not intend to kill myself I'm just... show more @fail whale I didn't say my life was worse than others but just simply that I can't handle all the change and **** I'm going through I also have had relatives who have dies from cancer, my own real dad doesn't have anything to do with me nor my mum. I do not intend to kill myself I'm just stating how bad and down I feel. I've suffered depression twice in my life and I'm going through it all again and my familys reaction us get over it. Sorry you've gone through **** but doesn't mean the **** I'm going through is less hurtful or emotional!
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