should financial problems be discussed?
should personal financial problems be discussed in a relationship? i have major issues and i dont knw if i should discuss them with him... he might lose respect for my parents.
please advice i need someone to talk to
- Anonymous9 years agoBest answer
- 9 years ago
YESSS they should be discussed! On date #4 or 5 they should be discussed!!
If this is someone you can imagine marrying, then take a deep breath and TELL HIM!! If you wait too long, he'll only be more upset because this might affect your interest rate when you finance a home, or many other things.
You can't keep stuff like this a secret. In a serious relationship, you HAVE to be totally open about everything. If he doesn't accept your troubles and isn't willing to take them on, then you have to live with it, and fix the problems before you get serious next time.
The sooner you get stuff like this out in the open, the better off you are!!
No surprises <~~~~ VERY good thing.
This is my view.
- DianeLv 44 years ago
Deut. 8:18, 3 John 1:2, 1 Chronicles 29:12, Psalm 1 :1-3 , Matt. 25:14, 1Corth. 3:21-23, Deut.30:19,Luke 6:38, Rev.5:12,Matt. 13:44, Matt 19:29, 2 Peter 3:10, Gen 8:22, Gen 3:15, Luke 6:38, Eccl 3:2,John 12:24, 2 Cornth.9:10-11, Isaiah 55:8-9,Let.27:30, Malachi 3:9-10, 2 Corth.9:6, Psalms 35:7,Hebrews 6:12,Luke 8:15, Romans 8:25, Mark 11:23 , Hebrews 10:36, Deut. 30:19, Psalms 37:25,Rev. 5:12, 1 Chron. 4:10, Matt.13:3-8, Gal. 3:29, Haggi 2:8,James - I4:3,Prov.22:7,Isaiah 10:27, Phil.3: 13-14, 2 Chron 4:8, Job 8:7, Isaiah 45: 2-3,Gen 1:28, 2 Peter 1:2, Isaiah 55:11,Gen 1:3, Psalms 149 :5-9, Jer.29, Psalms 118:17, 3 John 2,Rev 21:12, Gen 15:13-14, Ex.25:4-5,1 Thess 5:18colossiians 3:15,Phill.4:6,Luke 12:15,Pro.22:9.
- Anonymous9 years ago
If you are considering marriage, you need to be aware of both of each other's financial situations. When you marry, your lives become fully integrated...meaning you're also marrying their debt. It's unfair to both of you to go into that situation without full awareness. Money is the number one reason couple's divorce, so don't start off your married life already lying about cash. You also need to discuss your overall values regarding money. Is he the type to pay the bills right away, while you're okay with letting them wait (or vice versa)? How much do you think you should put into savings? Should you put your money into a joint account?
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- FawnLv 49 years ago
Finances cause stress. I'd say hold off on discussing them if you don't live together and aren't planning on doing so in the near future. When you do, it becomes necessary. Same as when you get married, but that's because you're sharing bills/responsibilities so it's essentially the same reason.
- KellyLv 79 years ago
Absolutely. Not telling your significant other of major financial issues you have can lead to big problems. Especially if you try to get a loan or mortgage together and them finding out at that time is really bad.
I had some really bad credit in my 20's that I was still recovering from when I met my fiance. I was up front with him when our relationship started to get serious about my financial history. I was actually out of debt when I met him, but since I didn't have much revolving credit my credit score was still low. My fiance was concerned about it at first but after hearing my reasons for my bad credit he was understanding of it. Some of it was my own irresponsibilities of being young & stupid, but most of it was that I helped to care for a terminally ill parent all through my 20's and sometimes buying their medicine to prolong their life was more important to me than some of my own bills. Then I also with my dad's medical expenses helped my parents with their mortgage & taxes with all the medical expenses they had. I don't regret it, but still at some points the choices I made haunt me here & there.
My fiance didn't lose any respect for me or my parents over it. It wasn't anything any of us could control. He actually had more respect for me because a lot of young people wouldn't make the sacrifices I did and I was up front and honest with him about it, he didn't have to "find out", I told him.
I only discussed my parents' finances with my fiance because it was a direct cause of mine. Other than that, its none of their business what your parents financial situation is, or any other of your family.
I know all of my fiances debt, how much money he makes, he knows what very little debt I have and also knows how much I make.
- BloopieBlooperLv 49 years ago
It depends on how close/serious the relationship is. Do you live together and share finances? Do you plan to move in together soon or get married? If its not that serious, no. But if you have marriage plans and/or share finances already, then yes. Fill him in.
- cjsmummyLv 79 years ago
only if they are YOUR personal financial issues - your parents,sisters or best friends has nothing to do with your relationship and only if they directly affect him (as in you're living together or married)
- CC 9/24/11 BrideLv 69 years ago
- 9 years ago
When you get serious you should be open