Compromise on TV in the Bedroom?

I've had this argument with multiple guys I've dated, and I'm having it again. I've been seeing a guy for about a month, and we always hang out at my place, for multiple reasons not related to this question.

He claims he "has" to fall asleep watching TV. He "needs" the noise, etc.

I absolutely can't sleep with the TV on. I've tried multiple times before in my life, and it's never worked. I've passed out after a couple hours before, but always wake up like 10 mins later absolutely miserable. I need darkness and quiet or I simply can not sleep.

He thinks I'm being ridiculous, and says that "if you were really tired, you'd be able to sleep with the TV on." He thinks I'm just used to getting my own way on everything. He says I'm just looking for an excuse to complain just because I'd "prefer" the TV off and that I'm lying about not being able to sleep with it on just to get my own way.

I offered to let him use my headphone jack extension cord (it stretches across the room easily) on night that he's over, so that he can listen to the tv from the bed, while I wear an eye mask so that the light doesn't bother me. He says it's unreasonable for me to expect him to try to sleep wearing headphhones, and that they're uncomfortable and he won't be able to sleep with them in.

He says that the fair compromise would be for me to just "deal with it" only on the nights that he's over, since he only comes over 2-3 nights per week, and I get to sleep with the tv off all the other nights.

We're having a power struggle over the precedent that's going to be set for the remainder of the relationship, no doubt about that.

I really like this guy, and this is our only point of disagreement so far. Is there any compromise without me seeing a precedent of doing all the giving?

Update:

Yes, I can sleep with headphones in and nature/ambient music on, but I work nights, and my nights off are when we spend the night together. Those are the only nights that I get to sleep at night, and have the luxury of peace and quiet and darkness, and I only get to twice a week. When I'm working, I always have to sleep with headphones in and an eye mask on in order to sleep during the day since it's so light and noisy in here, so I only get to sleep without those twice a week, which I told him.

I did think of what I think might be a fair compromise though. Since he is admittedly doing quite a bit of driving that he wouldn't otherwise be doing in order to be with me, maybe when he drives here, I'll let him sleep with the tv on, and I'll wear headphones and a mask. But when I drive to see him, he can sleep with the tv off. It seems like a fair compromise, and since he usually drives here, he should be sleeping with the tv on the majority of the time.

7 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favourite answer

    Like you I can't sleep if there is a TV on when I try to sleep so it's not just you.

    Any compromise where one of two has to just "deal with it" is no compromise at all. You've offered multiple solutions which he's not even willing to try one. Sounds a bit unreasonable to me if you're the only one who has to give in.

    Still, you're looking for a solutions. Have you tried to use some type of earbuds together with the eye mask? That's the only solution I can think of that might resolve things but it means you have to be the "bigger" person in it.

    If that will set a precedent is up to you. It doesn't have to be. If you end up being the one to "just deal with it" every time when you have a disagreement you might want to reconsider your relationship with this guy. It could also be just this one thing and in any subsequent disagreement he can be totally okay to make compromise. Only time will tell.

    Hope that helps.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    At just 1 month into the relationship I think it's a little soon for him to be making demands like this in your home. I mean, you're entitled to a good nights sleep in your own house! I feel it's pretty rude of him to be making comments (that you're just trying to get your own way and that you're lying ) so soon in the relationship.

    He sounds like he's being a little immature and not making an effort to see it from your point of view. What he's offering is not a compromise. He's asking you to do it his way without making the slightest effort to make things easier for you.

    A fair compromise in this situation I feel would be that he has the TV on at night if he wants to when you're staying at his house and it's off when he's staying at yours. As you're spending most of the time at your place then in this situation he needs to make the compromise. Unfortunate for him but there it is.

    The reality is if you absolutely can't have a good nights sleep with the TV on then there is no other option.

    If he needs background noise maybe he could consider something that's less intrusive on your sleep pattern, like those sound maker things that do the ocean/rainforest noises.

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  • 4 years ago

    We had chicks while I was once a lad, however I do not take into account them ever expressing any curiosity in looking TV, colour or in any other case. Mostly they simply walked across the backyard chirping or consuming corn. If the chick keeps to *****, might be you would recommend she lay a couple of additional eggs and she or he should purchase her possess TV.

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  • 8 years ago

    Tell him that when you sleep at his house he can keep the tv on ( oh you don't ) and just remember that its YOUR place, YOUR kingdom and YOU rule. Whats the guys problem is he scared of the dark? what a baby get rid.

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  • 8 years ago

    If it is your place that you are paying rent or mortgage on, then you set the TV rules. If he doesn't like it, then he can sleep on the couch.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I think your problem is that you have HAD multiply guys.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Find another guy !!!

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