How to get my boyfriend to stop being a jerk?

I don't understand why my boyfriend is even dating me. When we first started seeing each other, he was so nice. Today is our 9-week mark since our first date. The past month he's gotten progressively worse, until the other day it culminated and I started crying and he didn't care. We went on a weekend vacation together to Daytona beach, about 2 1/2 hours away. While we were there, he went out to a bar in the middle of the night while i was sleeping in the hotel. He called me at 12:30 at night and asked me to WALK over there to join him. I said no, and hung up and turned off my phone. I was mad that he went out without me during OUR vacation. I don't see why it's imperative that he go out and get drunk; he's supposed to want to be with me, not be drunk--he can get drunk any time, but this was our vacation together. When I said I was upset he says "you know what? If you're mad, whatever--that's stupid. Do what you want."

Then the next day he was too hung over to do anything and laid in bed until 5 mins before check out.

Then I offered to drive home since he was complaining the last 2 weeks about doing all the driving. But the entire way back I couldn't make a move without him complaining about my driving. I've been driving for over 9 years with no accidents. No matter what I did, whether I was speeding up, slowing down, taking an exit to go pee, he had a problem with it and complained incessantly about what a horrible driver I was. I suggested several times he be quiet and take a nap, and he'd just say I wasn't tired, and then say "you should WANT to improve your driving--everyone has room for improvement."

Then when we were almost home he started saying he was starving, and I said I'd fix dinner. He kept saying how hungry he was, so I decided to make something quick. I threw some bbq pork (the kind in a tub) in the microwave and made toast, and made us sandwiches, and he ate his sandwich, then immediately started complaining that he couldn't believe I made that for him, and that it was garbage. I said fine I'll never cook for you again, and he said "GOOD. Glad I've dodged that bullet." I said he didn't hesitate to eat it, and he says "I was starving, I would have eaten dog sh**, and I would have preferred it." He went on an on for over half an hour about how he couldn't believe I made such horrible food for him, while going through my fridge and pantry. He wasn't joking--he was completely serious. I told him I wouldn't make it again, but he didn't need to keep going, and he tells me very condescendingly that "I'm not being a jerk--I'm just letting you know so that you don't do it again." He's not helping pay for groceries. I cook for him almost every day, and no matter what I do, he eats it, but then complains that it's not made from scratch. Even when I made home made pizza crust, he complained that the sauce wasn't made from scratch. I don't make much money, I can't afford to make gourmet meals. Any other guy I would have made Hot Pockets for, and had no complaints. I don't understand. And I do his laundry for him the last month, and fold and hang it, because he leaves his dirty clothes on my bathroom floor and I don't want to leave it there because that's gross so I throw it in the hamper, and he complains if his clothes aren't dry by the next time he comes over????

He's always commenting on my weight, ever since I told him how much I weigh. He didn't have a problem until he knew how much I weighed, then he said he couldn't believe I weighed so much, and is always commenting now how I need to exercise more, and I can't eat anything without him commenting on it. I tell him it hurts my feelings and he tells me that someone needs to tell me so I'll know, like he's my savior or something. I look fine; I have a lot of muscle because I just got out of the Army less than 7 months ago, and I still work out regularly.

I've tried yelling and he just yells back. I try comebacks and he just rolls his eyes. I've tried being nice, and he seems to see it as weakness. I'm not sure what to do. He rarely shows me any affection any more unless he wants to get laid, and even then he never cuddles afterwards. He was so nice and pleasant at first, and always telling me I was pretty, called me every day, and wanted to take me out. What's the magic trick that I'm missing, because none of my friends seem to have to put up with this stuff, and I always fall into these relationships.

Update:

He is 34 years old and I'm 27. I'm a full time graduate school student and work full time for the government. He works full time.

18 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favourite answer

    I would say his behavior is based on his lack of desire for you, and is trying to get you to break up with him. Some guys will basically b***h about every little thing until it drives their woman crazy so she dumps him, leaving her to do the dirty work of separating you guys. He's too much of a coward to break it off himself, so he's trying to get you to do it for him. I don't see this as any sort of constructive criticism, or character building for you, so i would get rid of him before you go nuts.

    Now if you honestly truly love him and don't want to lose him, I'd recommend trying to give him a dose of his own medicine. Get him to cook, clean, whatever he doesn't see fit, or just b***h about everything until he does it, then when he's crazy tell him you'll stop if he stops. Definitely unorthodox, and I don't know if it would work, but if he truly cares for you he'll see the error in his ways and stop and make it up to you.

    Source(s): My guy brain
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  • Teresa
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Have you lost the love of your life and need to learn how to get your ex back? It's an emotional time and often it seems the harder you try to smooth things over and work things out the worse it gets. Before you make another mistake and finish things for good you need to find out just what to do. If you lost the love of your life and want that person back, you need the Magic of Making Up.

    We all know of people who have broken up and then got back together. But I bet right now you wish you knew their secret. Getting back together can happen - there is a way - a strategy if you will - that's learnable. Even though the people you thought of who got back together may not have intended to follow 'the' strategy, they did - by accident. Now wouldn't you like to know just what they did?

    Right now if you were to see or talk to your ex on the phone, the chances of your saying just the right thing at the right time - by accident are quite frankly slim to none. You need a plan. You need a map to show you just where you want to go and what you want to accomplish so when you next see or speak with your ex you say all the right things and deliver just the right message.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I honestly don't understand why you are still with him?

    - He complains about everything

    - He does nothing for you

    - You both always argue ( and it seems it's his fault)

    I think you deserve much better and i think he is a complete jerk.

    However if you really don't wont to break up with him, then tell him your feelings, tell his exactly what you have put here. After all of that if he is still being a jerk then you know what to do...

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  • 5 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    How to get my boyfriend to stop being a jerk?

    I don't understand why my boyfriend is even dating me. When we first started seeing each other, he was so nice. Today is our 9-week mark since our first date. The past month he's gotten progressively worse, until the other day it culminated and I started crying and he didn't care. ...

    Source(s): boyfriend stop jerk: https://tr.im/wGFDl
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  • 8 years ago

    He sounds like a total nightmare and you should get out of this relationship before he ruins your self esteem and trust in men.

    Don't blame yourself for ending up with such a loser, men like him are always charming to begin with to draw you in, then their mask slips when they know they've got you.

    At least you found out now what he's like and can escape, don't ever stay with anybody who treats you like dirt. Your boyfriend is an immature bully who doesn't deserve you, let him know that and end the relationship, good luck.

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  • Sandra
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    The key is to accepting that when you truly love someone patience is born. Love has significance. The matter of the truth is, are you ready to stand by the true meaning of love and winning back your ex? Love is a powerful motivator far beyond people actually realize. It allows us to withstand the test and overcome any obstacle.

    On the next page you will find a set of techniques that are guaranteed to make your ex come begging you to take them back.

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    If you want to know how to get ex back then I strongly recommend that you to read everything on the next page before it's too late.

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  • 8 years ago

    Hun, this'll be harsh- but break up with him, you deserve SO much better- from what i can see you're a very sweet, and thoughtful person- so just maybe go a year or so without dating and then- mr.nice will pop up ^w^

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    well, to be honest, i did not go through all your stories. and saying you direct, as you have so many issues with him, i just suggest you to get along in your own track. you are just trying to make a dog's tail straight. now just decide what have you been these days. you deserve better and you can get someone more loving and caring of your own type. so moving on will be good for your mental health as well as future and love life. good luck.

    Source(s): self
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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Um, that's called emotional abuse. I've been through it before...it's not good. Get out of there now. Emotional abuse often turns into physical abuse later on. Don't become a statistic.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I am gathering he is young. nothing left to be said

    you could wait for the rest of him to evolve into resembling some sort of rational mature human being or you can let him go

    you need to find someone on your level and stop wasting time and emotion on one who is still kicking rocks while you are counting stars

    cheers

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