i am a pedophile,please help me?
Ok guys,i am not gonna lie here.But i seriously think i am a pedophile as i am sexually attracted to small children (generally girls).I am a 16 year old guy but there is something very wrong with me.
My cousin who is still 8 (a girl) lives with us these days as her parents are gone in other country for some serious work ,we always have a blast together.But unfortunately the whole "pedophile" thing ruin it for me as i am sexually attracted to her.
My cousin is very sweet and i will never harm her in any way possible but i hate thinking about her like that.
I was never abused and had a great childhood with loving parents but when i reach puberty i found out that i was attracted to small kids ,i know its sick and i hate myself for it but i can't help it.
"Pedophiles are very dangerous and they surely harm kids in one way or other " according to most people
You know guys,i can't share this secret of mine with anybody and that is the reason i am asking you guys .I feel like i am some kind of monster who is born to molest children ( i know i will never do such barbaric act) .But I am very depressed right now.
please don't say "get help" because there is no cure for it and i can't tell about it to anybody because pedophiles are seen in very negative way.
god knows what i have to go through everyday to suppress my desires but i still do it because i hate those who molest children.What is my fault ?
am i really such a Bad person ?
- Anonymous8 years agoFavourite answer
Seek professional help. No one here on Y!A can help.
- Anonymous8 years ago
16 is such a confusing age, you really don't know how you feel, and your emotion are in turmoil. Talk to a good therapist to help you work through these feelings, and chances are, they are nothing more then a phase since most teens have "wrong" sexual desires at your age..same sex, feelings of sexual desire for a parent, family member..it can all be very confusing.
It's sad that people condemn and make it their personal mission to blast people on the net and over react by posting this in other sections. It's not like you admitted to molesting anyone..thinking and doing are miles apart.
I wish you luck, and don't let the drama queens on here make you feel like a monster. Chances are you are nothing more then a very confused teen.
- Anonymous8 years ago
You're not a bad person. Pedophiles aren't inherently "evil" people. But there is only way you're going to avoid doing something horrible in your life, and that is: avoid children at all costs. Most pedophiles, no matter how hard they try, one day "slip" and do something that hurts a child.
Studies have shown that pedophiles live happy, normal lives as long as they rarely even lay eyes on children. You may have to rely on your faith to get you through the next two years or so, but once you move out the house, try to find a job and a lifestyle where you just don't encounter kids at all.
There's one other possibility (and only you know if it's a realistic one): what you have may be obsessive-compulsive disorder rather than pedophilia. There's a category of obsessive-compulsives who obsess that there's evil in them that isn't actually there - that they're going to murder someone, or molest a child, or punch an old woman in the face. And that evil really doesn't exist in them, but they spend all their time agonizing over the possibility that it does.
- 8 years ago
I have the exact problem. Seriously bro, there's nothing wrong with you. You can be attracted to men, women, kids, adults, horse, dogs, whatever. As longs as any actions based on these attractions are within the law you're fine. I mean yeah you can't do anything to your cousin but being attracted to her doesn't matter as long as you don't act.Source(s): By your definition I am also a "pedophile", I'm 15 btw
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- KaneLv 58 years ago
It might be likely that you have not outgrown an earlier phase of sexual development. Usually we are sexually attracted to our peers (around same age), as we grow, the interest shifts to older age groups. This might not have completely occured for you. Important thing is not to stigmatize it in your mind. As with anything else, the more you stigmatize it and think about it the more it will bother you.
Get chatting with girls around your age, get a girl friend, someone to handle this area of your needs (romance, relationship, etc.). Just accept the fact that it came across your mind and its wrong to do it. Similar to how lets say murder, or theft, or some other criminal/wrongful act comes across the mind and we just let the thought pass. If we keep thinking, "I'm gonna murder, I'm gonna murder" eventually it might just get into our head and we might just do something stupid to compensate the obsession. As mentioned, the more strongly we stigmatize on how wrong the thought is, the more likely it is to bother us. Just leave it be and focus on more positive aspects. You then, might be eventually able to outgrow this "phase" and get on with living life.
- 6 years ago
having been born with any mental demeanour doesnt make you a bad person, but only as long as you can suppress your desires of doing something so horrible. always remember one thing, your feelings are only as important for you as others feelings for themselves, one should never use others for his or her desires. you should talk about your problem with your parents, both, or any one of them, that will make you feel like a much better person and you will become a much less of a threat to all the children of the world.
- 8 years ago
I'm a pedophile too. There are a bunch of us like you who are committed to never abusing a child but feel attracted to them. You're not alone. It's very common to realize this around your age, to be frightened, and to hate yourself. You can live a good life. Contact us at virped.org, using a gmail account under a false name for your peace of mind.
Many of the answers here are from decent, open-minded people, but of course a few are not. Some assume you will offend, but this is not at all certain. Many well-meaning clinicians believe this, but that's because the only pedophiles who come to their attention are ones who have offended.
Seeing a counselor is an idea, but should be approached with caution. Tell your parents you're depressed, which is true enough. You should ask over the phone, before you give your name, what the mandatory reporting requirements are. Since you live with an 8-year-old girl, some of them might feel the need to report you for just having feelings about her. http://www.atsa.com/ is a possible source of referrals, and even though it's the Association for the Treatment of Sex Offenders, they are also a good resource for people who haven't offended.
You *do* have to watch out for the safety of your cousin, but the clumsy machinery of an official investigation is not what you want. I would be very cautious about telling anyone in real life about this. If she's going to rejoin her parents in a fixed number of months, keep the end date in mind. Only you know if continuing to have a blast with this girl is safe or not. She might express her affection physically, and it's up to you to keep well clear of any sexual boundaries. But if you can't find a reassuring therapist and you found your control slipping, you might do best talking to a close family member -- a mother would typically be the best bet.
85% of pedophiles are non-exclusive, meaning a satisfying relationship with a woman is likely to be in your future.
An added response to Kayleigh: I'd put this in the thread you started, but it looks like it's closed because you chose an answer.
Child sexual abuse is really awful, and I understand your rage. You said you have 3 kids, and by implication 2 of them are boys. It's just possible that one of them will discover when he's 16 that he's a pedophile. Something like one to three percent of men are. It will have nothing to do with how you raised him or what you taught him. If your hatred of even non-offending pedophiles remains unchanged and he knows how you feel, he might just kill himself instead of seeking help. Pedophiles come out of families, not out of the swamp. Even abusers are often very nice people in many ways, which is one reason people have trouble spotting them. Celibate pedophiles can be just as nice and what's more haven't committed a serious crime. So, it could be one of your sons.
One thing we are all agreed on is that the most important thing is for pedophiles never to abuse children. The web is full of advice from angry people on exactly what pedophiles should and shouldn't do. It would seem sensible to get the advice of professionals who've dealt with this issue and these people. And maybe even pedophiles themselves might have an opinion about how best to avoid abusing children? Sometimes when I read these online discussions, I feel like how I imagine a woman would feel reading lengthy men-only discussions about how to handle PMS, cramps, pregnancy, and menopause.
- girl GraspaciousLv 58 years ago
You need to spend less time with her. Go out with your friends, stay at your friend's house. I maybe wrong but i don't think you are really a pedophile. I think you should get a girlfriend and keep yourself busy. Your cousin will go away soon. So, just stop thinking about it and make yourself busy. Play a lot of sports to tire yourself out.
- Mabel BLv 78 years ago
You are not a bad person, unless you act on your urges. You cant help having these feelings.
But you have been big enough to admit you think you have a problem to us, I think the next step is to see a shrink/councellor to help you through it.
Do not worry about sharing your thoughts with a trained professional, it is what they are there for and they have heard it ALL before.
- Anonymous4 years ago
You don't need therapy, you need a girlfriend! There is no reason for you to be worrying about this if you have never molested a kid.
- The TeacherLv 68 years ago
One you are not a bad person. A bad person does bad things and does not feel bad about it, a good person does NOT do bad things but feels bad for even thinking about doing bad things.