Avi asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 years ago

How to get rid of my shyness once and for all?

I have no reason to be shy. I'm good looking, very smart, financially secure, and well educated. I also force myself to maintain good body language and etiquette. So people don't realise I'm shy until they get to know me well. But in my mind, I'm painfully shy and it hurts. I can't hold a one-on-one conversation with anyone who intimidates me even if they're warm and initiate the conversation themselves. Because of this, I haven't had a lot of working relationships and my friends don't trust me. I've read so many books on how to develop a more outgoing personality but all of them help only superficially. My mindset remains the same.

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favourite answer

    I know how it is, because I had the same feeling in the old days. As you mentioned, if this is rooted deeply for so long, you need to change your mindset, and this can't be done just by reading books on developing a more outgoing personality. The best and fastest way is to find a person who knows exactly what they are doing and who you trust to help you through coaching or mentoring. Such a person can help you to identify the root of the problem and support you to transform it effectively.

    Because the approaches and techniques I found on my path before didn't work strong enough for emotional transformations, I created a technique myself (together with my wife). It was initially called the Release Coaching Method, and lately we tailored it for business coaching and called it the Emotional Management Method. On the website http://emotionalmanagementmethod.com/ you can view a free webinar about how stress impacts your life. And you can listen also to a live radio interview during which I help a guest to get rid of his phobia for spiders live on the radio with this technique in just 20 minutes.

    If you'd like to learn more about the approach, our book will give you more insights about how the technique works, and how we can overcome any obstacles we create for ourselves: http://www.amazon.com/Reduce-Stress-Emotional-Mana...

    To view an introduction webinar go here: http://emotionalmanagementmethod.com/

    If you feel it's a match, just book a session with one of the coaches through the website.

    Today, standing often on a stage and giving training for many thousands of people each year without any stress, I can testify from my own experience that you can get rid of any shyness if you take action to do something about it. And keep going until you get there.

  • jhinuk
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    You have already identified the source of the problem 'Mindset' so change it. If your shyness is hurting you, it is high time, get rid of it. Nothing will work overnight and only from theoretical knowledge. Socialise more. Talk with strangers, whom probably you will never meet again and try to be a little extrovert, no need for shyness as you will not meet this person ever in life. Thus keep practising. Also discuss such topics on which you have good knowledge and you are confident to speak about. Try these, best of luck

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You cannot learn how to play and instrument if you do not have that instrument in your hands. That being said, you cannot get rid of shyness if you are not around people. Begin by observing people and how they interact with each other. Observe people who are confident in social setting and take notes on what they do. Observe their body language. Observe how they talk to others. After you take notes, try to implement what you have observed. If you need to, find someone that you can model after until you find your own way of being. All successful people have had models, so do the same.

  • 8 years ago

    From all the stories I've read about people like you and I (shy ones), the only sure fire way to do this is just do it. Just go out and be social, talk, do all that! But of course its easier said than done.

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  • 8 years ago


    Source(s): Experience
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