Am I being insecure? I would like to receive replies from people who have been in long relationships.?

I've been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years.

Recently, there was a movie playing which my gf wanted to watch desperately, unfortunately, I couldn't go. So she asked for my persmission if she can go out with a male colleague - who, according to my gf is a pervert, womanizer, and a serial dater.

I felt she was pretty dumb to to out with him but I didn't want to sound too controlling and told her to go - we've been together 2.5 years and I trust her. They saw the movie and even had dinner. I felt bad but forgave and forgot...and didn't even talk about it.

Nevertheless, I once checked her phone and found that he calls her "babe." I find that quite disturbing.

Now comes New Year's eve. My gf and I live in different towns, and I wanted to celebrate New Year's eve with her. She was hesitant and told me she wants to spend it with her "college friends" and she wanted to go to a party to which only she was invited. I said OK.

Later I found out - through Google+ pictures - that she and that pervert male colleague were sitting together on the same table at a bar during new years eve!

I'm not sure what to do now. I'm sad and heart broken. Am I being paranoid? Insecure?

Thank you!


She sent me some of the Google+ pictures except THAT picture. They're sitting very close together.

Update 2:

My gf and I have endured a long distance relationship for 1 year...8000 miles apart. But we never cheated on each other...this sort of thing never happened.

I told her how I feel and she keeps telling me she loves me.

Update 3:

My gf and the "pervert guy" have exchanged a lot of phone messages over the past few months.

3 Answers

  • 6 years ago
    Favourite answer

    Well I've also been in a relationship for 3 years. I have struggled a lot with insecurities throughout my relationship- I am someone who is very clingy and needy. However, my boyfriend is also the same way so that's why our relationship has always worked. It's very important to be open and have good communication with your girlfriend. I think it is best if you tell her how your feeling. She may not realize how much this is affecting. And she may be cheating on you. I know going to college in two separate places is very difficult- me and my boyfriend are in the same situation. We ended up breaking up about 4 months ago and it tore me apart.However, we are now back together and our relationship is stronger than ever. I have learned to tone down my jealousy and so has he.We are in a much more balanced relationship. We did this by telling each other what we wanted.I suggest you and your girlfriend talk about it too! You definitley need to bring this up to her.

  • 6 years ago

    Not at all, I believe she has come to like this "pervert" and is with him from time to time. Some times when females like someone but we have some one we will lie to our bf and say "oh no hes a man whore never would I like him." When in reality we do. You should talk to your girlfriend and see if she still feels the same way about you because she could be messing around with that guy tbh.

  • 6 years ago

    To be honest she may be cheating on you.

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