How do I deal with a family members OCD when encroaches on my personal space?
My step father doesn't live with me. I am a grown woman w/a family of my own. However, he is really close w/my 14-year-old son. He has pretty much been a substitute father figure for my kid. I really appreciate him for that. However, he can't seem 2 not encroach on my life w/his obsessive compulsive behaviors. My son is not big on talking on the phone. So if my step dad calls him 2 make plans, my kid doesn't answer or respond, then my step dad calls me. If I answer the phone even once then he will continually call me multiple times a day for the next several weeks. It gets to be overwhelming and he wants to talk about stuff that, to me, is irrelevant. However, if I do not answer the phone when he calls me too, then he comes over to my house. He has taken to knocking and if we do not answer then he just opens the door and walks in. The other day he must have come into my house while I was in the bath! I didn't notice right away but he apparently used some of my note paper to write two notes, left one on my coffee table & one on my son's desk in his room. My own mother doesn't even come to my home unannounced & she doesn't enter my home unless someone knows. My step dad also suffers from un-diagnosed narcissism & that makes it impossible 2 get him to follow basic guidelines & boundaries. It took me over a year to finally get him 2 stop calling me before 6 am, multiple times a day, only after I finally got MAD. Also because of he narcissism he has never been treated for his OCD.
Please do not make assumptions that I think he is a BAD person because of his narcissism. Calling someone a narcissist because they are egotistical is and insult. Someone who actually has the symptoms of the mental issues known as narcissism doesn't make them a bad person. I do not dislike my step father because of his mental handicaps. I just have a hard time figuring out how to cope with his overwhelming issues. JUST LIKE ANY PERSON WOULD.
- 5 years agoFavourite answer
Cut him off from your family
- Anonymous5 years ago
1) "Undiagnosed narcissism" wait, what? You are not a doctor. You are not qualified to make a diagnosis.
2) I could tell you how I have an IQ of 137, make over $160,000 a year, and have studied psychology, and personally, based on my knowledge and my experience you also seem narcissistic. But then again, I'm not a doctor now am I? With that said- You seem to think that its totally great and dandy for your stepdad to waste his time, energy, and money and love on a kid which isnt biologically his (yours), yet you arent even thankful enough to treat him like a human being and take his calls? You constantly want to ignore him and be away from him (except of course when you want him to act like a father figure). And you complain that he used a piece of paper on a note pad which probably costs like 3 cents for the paper? Are you actually for real?
3) You dont have the right to use your stepfather for his parenting, but then ignore him when you dont wanna use him. He is a human being and a person, not a tool. Either decide if you want to be in his life and treat him respectfully and be his friend/stepdaughter- AND have him parent your child- OR have NEITHER of those. You dont get to pick and choose, and use people.
4) Why didnt you marry the guy who knocked you up? You clearly arent the brightest bulb, nor do you have the best morals, so I dont see why you're throwing stones in a glass house.
5) Treatment for OCD is very expensive, has very minimal results, and costs a ton of money. It requires cognitive behavioral therapy, along with medication (medication which has many side effects, many of which are bad side effects, as pretty much all medications tend to do). So you implying that he should have been treated for his OCD, is more your opinion than it is necessary. OCD is not schizophrenia or a life threatening medical condition. Its sort of like tourettes. It can be annoying or a turn off to some people, but people with the disorder can still function and go through life, and often, trying to tamper with it makes things worse and wastes lots of time and money.
- 5 years ago
I would say it is time for a move
- 5 years ago
Charles is right
- What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
- Pearl LLv 75 years ago
not much you can do unless you want to block his number