I'm using staples to cut my arm, can this lead to an infection? I also have red straight marks on my skin, do they disappear over time?

I'm 12 1/2 going to be 13. I am suicidal and have attempted it by choking myself with a cord. That was a long time ago though..But I have these thoughts of hurting myself like that again. Yesterday I decided to cut myself with some staples. These staples were still connected to each other, and I found them... show more I'm 12 1/2 going to be 13. I am suicidal and have attempted it by choking myself with a cord. That was a long time ago though..But I have these thoughts of hurting myself like that again.
Yesterday I decided to cut myself with some staples. These staples were still connected to each other, and I found them going threw a box.
I was crying and all my thoughts came back to me. I don't like talking about it too much. But yesterday I cut myself 2 times, and each time, I cut myself 10 times. So 2 times 10 = 20.
I cut myself 20 times yesterday. This morning I cut myself again, 12 times I counted. They left these red straight marks on my skin, and they burn when I put pressure on them. I want to know will these red marks ever go away. I have a family that cares about me, and they don't miss a thing. I'm wearing these jackets and I hope they wont notice. But will they ever go away!? Another thing, can they infect me? Can you answer these two questions, and possibly help me stop.
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