What you are seeing in the Virgo's you know comes from something ELSE in their chart.
Everyone has a unique individual astrological birthchart, with 40-50 factors in it.
And the person's "sign" is ONLY the sign their SUN was in at birth.
Sun in Virgo is a gentle, introspective, retiring/shy position for the ego need represented by Sun. These people seek to be useful and to serve. Although if Sun makes square and/or opposition 'aspects' with other planets, they can be critical perfectionists.
But as I said, what you are observing does NOT come from their Sun sign . .you have to do up their personal birthchart and look at perhaps their Rising Sign or Mars or Moon or even Uranus, to see why that Sun-in-Virgo person is being that way.
Almost certainly, their Sun will not be a strong factor in their chart, and so you will be noticing OTHER things about them.
The other option, of course, is that you are doing things that bring this out in others. I cannot say if this is the case.
But I have sat down and done face-to-face astrology readings for over 500 Sun-in-Virgo people over my decades as an astrology ... and most of them were mild and gentle people.