Is what my therapist said to me inappropriate?
I was telling her about my life and what i've been through, and she said " I wonder how you didn't commit suicide" . Is it just me or was that an inappropriate thing to say ? it made me feel bad and like I should have commited suicide.
- foxprojoyLv 62 years agoFavourite answer
She was using a technique other therapists use where you imply how a person got through a situation and didn't shut down completely;y (suicide), to show how strong you actually are by living through the situation. It's a shame it backfired, but talk to her about how this affected you.
- LiliLv 72 years ago
I think she was trying to empathize by saying, "Wow, what you went through was REALLY bad. Some people might have killed themselves." Though it may have been an unnecessarily drastic way of doing it, she was letting you know that she recognized the seriousness of your experiences and also felt that you'd been especially strong NOT to try to kill yourself. That you'd coped amazingly well. You should appreciate that.
Your interpretation -- that you SHOULD have tried to kill yourself and now feel "bad' that you didn't -- is sort of strange. I think I can guarantee you that's not remotely what she meant.
Perhaps you should ask for clarification and tell her how you interpreted the remark.
- Anonymous2 years ago
Maybe she didn't realize what she said sounded stilted. I've had therapists tell me, it's a wonder you're not on drugs, in a mental institution, or dead. Next time you see her you might ask her to clarify, misunderstandings between clients and therapists happen.
- RickLv 72 years ago
She might have said this to see if you'd thought of killing yourself during whatever it was you went through or to learn how you got through it. Therapists do this sometimes. However, there are better ways to find this out. The next time you see her ask her why she said it and tell her how it made you feel.
Don't feel badly about yourself - you didn't do anything wrong. It's just the opposite actually - you did something right and good for you.
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- THE BANNIBAL ONELv 72 years ago
Yes,it seems she made a mistake.
Next time ask her why she said it.
- 2 years ago
That is highly inappropiriate and sounds like she isnt doing her job right! I hope your ok!
- Josh AlfredLv 52 years ago
How disrespectful. I agree with you.
- Steve HLv 62 years ago
You need to include context, tone, circumstances and even whether this person is suitably qualified.
From your description of the conversation the wording doesn't sound appropriate, but remember everyone makes errors in life or misspeaks. It would actually be a very hard job to be a therapist. Each person has different needs. Some sessions would blur together due to the common theme or perhaps instead she was very tired and just said something really stupid.
I wasn't there so can't comment further than what has already been covered, but if you really feel as if this was a blunder of epic and unforgivable proportions then find another therapist. If you'd still prefer to stay, then perhaps mention that her words had a harmful effect.
This is your therapist, so it's better to be open. Then see where things go.
- All hatLv 72 years ago
Sounds like the therapist was being sympathetic to your pain.
- Anonymous2 years ago
If that's true it's inappropriate. I find it hard to believe. You need to change your therapist if it is true.