I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years, Do you think this is normal or that I need to take a break from him or end it.?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years. We have arguments often but they aren’t too serious. He follows a lot of Instagram models whom are basically nude. I’ve told him it bothers me 4-5 times and he doesn’t care. I’ve told him to unfollow them, and I’d admit I’m insecure mostly with my weight which he says it’s fine, I told him please unfollow them and he says no, I asked him why and he says just cuz I don’t want to. So we’re not talking right now, he only has been texting me good morning and goodnight, but hasn’t even tried to call me and it’s been 3 days so far. Previously he does tell me he loves me a lot and I’m the one for him. But he just seems so uninterested, when I ask for a kiss he always sighs first. I always call him, or go over to his place or put any effort into hanging out. He doesn’t seem very interested in spending time together, whereas for me even talking in the car for hours is worth it if it’s with him. I don’t know if he’s even stressed about anything, but I’m over here just thinking about him and miss him. I can’t tell if our relationship is coming to an end because one part of me believes when he says he loves me endlessly but the other part of me sees that he puts no effort into it, nor does he seem interested. It seems his actions do not speak louder than his words at all. Please answer sincerely and don’t comment if it’s going to be something irrelevant.
- KatzenLv 52 years agoFavourite answer
No his behavior is not normal. He's acting like he doesn't love you.
Him not following those women when you asked him not to is incredibly unreasonable and shows that he is selfish and doesn't care about your feelings. You know deep down this is true, and him not making any effort into hanging out just proves this.
It feels a bit like he wants you there and he knows that saying grand declarations of love like "I love you, you're the one for me, blahblah" is enough to keep you around. He's taking advantage of the fact that you're insecure. It sounds likely to me like he wants you there for sex for whenever he's in the mood. He sounds like a narcissist because he sounds like he has very low empathy and is charming when he needs to be.
Stop clinging to this hope of him. He's proven that he doesn't love you. You sound like you're in denial because you want to believe he loves you, because you two have probably shared some happy memories, but if he truly loved you he'd not do any of the things you're describing.
- Anonymous2 years ago
You're afflicted with "A Relationship That Won't Die Syndrome." It occurs when two people stay together because they've already been together for a while and neither has the courage to break up with the other. If you thought your relationship was strong and healthy, you wouldn't be asking whether or not you should break up with him. It's obvious that the relationship is going nowhere, you just don't have the spine to end it. He's looking at scantily clad women online and fantasizing about them, you're all beaten up inside because you're not happy with the way you look. You're selling yourself short because you think it's better than being alone. It isn't. Your life is your own. And you're wasting the love you have on a guy who doesn't want it or appreciate it. Just move on. Let him look at sexy girls, and you start to live your own life for yourself. Spend time doing the things that you want to do. Find out what interests you. Take a class. Join a club. Learn a language, learn how to cook, get into a book club or join up with people who try different restaurants or cafes. Travel on weekends. rekindle old friendships, make new ones. Exercise. Paint, draw, cycle, hike, whatever you want to do. This guy is not into you and you're disrespecting yourself by pretending that's going to change. It isn't. If you don't rise up and get rid of him, he's going to cast you off first - he's going to find somebody else and drop you like first period calculus. Few people who come here for advice have the backbone to take any of the sensible advice offered, but perhaps you'll be the exception. Get rid of this fool and don't look back.
- CrystalLv 42 years ago
Hmmm a few red flags there. Actions definitely speak louder than words. I would suggest breaking it off completely or suggesting a break and see how he reacts. Maybe he will put in more of an effort or maybe he will act indifferent etc.