Oh how sad for you. How did you find out? Did your mother tell you? If so, she's the one to tell you the circumstances. Did your bio-dad even know he had a child? That would be a BIG shock for a man just out of the blue. You have to ask your mother. Put yourself in his position if that's the case. He's had a relationship years ago which fizzled out and suddenly, a decade or more later, he gets a message from his 'son'!! How would you react....honestly? This is why adopted kids have to have counselling before they start trying to find their lost biological families. You have to remember that you and this man are, basically, complete strangers. You only have DNA in common. Being a parent is EVERYTHING that comes after the birth of the baby - the nurturing, feeding, clothing, kissing & hugging....and the telling-off, arguments, fights etc. You may have had that with your mum or perhaps adoptive parents - but you have had none of that with this guy.....and more to the point, he's had none of that with you. He may be married with children. His family may know nothing about you and the possibility of you just turning up on the doorstep (a stranger to him) claiming a relationship that doesn't exist other than biologically (have you proof of this or just hearsay?) will certainly frighten him off. This is what seems to have happened. I DO sympathise with you and I hope that, in time, this will all get sorted out satisfactorily.....but you ought to go through official channels to meet him rather than go it alone. Doing it in an official way safeguards the privacy of both of you - and any other family members he may have. Meanwhile, you should ask your mother about him and what happened all those years ago. Your information sounds a bit sketchy.