Have you ever confessed a moral fault to someone, only to have that person deliberately try to trigger it every time you come around them?

Like, if you admit to your aunt that you're struggling with alcoholism or overeating, only to have her shove alcohol or chocolate pie into your hands at every. family. gathering. and then lambaste you for your 'moral failings'.

What did you do?

7 Answers

  • 1 year ago
    Favourite answer

    I don't go to those kind of family gatherings unless the Aunt doesn't mind me calling her out when ever she does that. She does it again then look her in the eye and loudly say, "What are you, an enabler?" I would tell everyone what she did after I told her what what I struggle against. Then I would tell her that the only struggle now comes from her as she tries to publicly humiliate me. Why tell her this? Why should she be allowed to be at peace with doing this evil thing? Because that is what it is. Maybe she has been doing this kind of thing long enough and needs to be put in her place. And the next thing to do is not tell anyone of your weaknesses or what you are struggling with. These people think that they can assess some kind of pseudo power over you by pointing out how weak you are. But the problem is that she is setting you up to do so. She is the one with the problem. In fact you may want to bring that up to her by asking why she feels that she needs to set people up to make them feel inadequate about their life by accusing them of failure after she is the one who is offering the very thing that they struggle with. She is the weak one and needs to do what she does in order to feel above others.

  • 1 year ago

    Cigarettes was the biggest temptation for me. It took years to give that one up. It was a time when it seemed everyone smoked. Every desk had an ashtray, you could smoke in class, there was no such thing as a non-smoking section, cars and airplanes came with ashtrays, and a pack of cigs cost 35 cents.

  • 1 year ago

    Yes. I've had that happen. I stay away from people like that as much as possible. They are toxic.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    what does any of this crap have to do with religion?


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  • 1 year ago

    You have several options.

    Stop telling her your problems.

    Stop spending time with her.

    Be blunt: "No, and I don't appreciate you offering me this pie/drink after I told you I was trying to cut out sweets/alcohol. Why would you even do such a thing?"

    Learn to say, "No, thank you," and just don't accept what she's offering. You don't have to eat it just because she sets it down in front of you.

    Enlist another family member (one you can trust) as an ally to help you resist your aunt's offers.

    I personally would try not to spend time with someone dedicated to undermining me. But if I had to do it anyway, I'd learn to stand up for myself. I would practice saying no and resisting her arguments (if she tries to argue with you, that is), maybe by roleplaying with a friend, so that I'd be ready when auntie starts up her old tricks.

  • 1 year ago

    Yes, sort of, from my own spouse.Now I just keep my mouth shut all the times

  • 1 year ago


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