How can I make friends with decent people while being a jaded complete mess?

So I am 25 and pretty much at my wits end with life. I live with my boyfriend on Boston s north shore which is so expensive, I cant afford my student loans without a roommate. Plus he is the only person I know here, I have no friends or family in this state. Me and him fight all the time and have done tons of... show more So I am 25 and pretty much at my wits end with life. I live with my boyfriend on Boston s north shore which is so expensive, I cant afford my student loans without a roommate. Plus he is the only person I know here, I have no friends or family in this state. Me and him fight all the time and have done tons of stupid things together like being total potheads, doing psychedelics for days on end when we were younger, drinking too much, smoking crack, etc. Between my mom hitting me while growing up, and him, I cant remember a time I went more than a few days without being hit going all the way back to about 5 years old. I hang out with trashy people because I feel so gross around normal folks at this point, but they always end up turning on me because I somehow have a professional side as well. My dad is a lawyer and I grew up traveling the world, had my master s degree by 23 and currently work in an office making a good salary. So I end up driving ex heroin addicts and crackheads around all day since I m the one with the nice house and car. Im always spotting them money, cooking them dinner, etc. I miss my college days where I had normal friends and still had hope in life. Now I haven t had a real friend in a couple years and feel so lonely. Losing the will to live for sure.
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