My dad makes me feel HORRIBLE?
It sucks when your own dad calls you 'ugly' and destroys your self esteem, especially when it's super low in the first place. I'm a blond, with long thin hair. I'm 5'7'' and skinny, but my face is kinda chubby. Also I'm super self conscious of my nose, forehead, acne, jawline etc. The other day my dad said ''you're not 'model' pretty, but you're not the ugliest person'' which wasn't too bad, but today he said to my mom ''this kid is getting uglier every day'' and that just hurt. He also keeps saying I have a bad posture, short neck and makes fun of my hair. He even chopped it all of when I was little, by pulling my plait and chopping it with scissors before I could pull away. Now he wants me to get a boy cut. And he keeps calling me fat, and making me eat healthy stuff 24/7. I feel so ugly, and not 'as smart as my cousin'. He doesn't believe in me. He thinks I'm going to fail my gcse's and that my cousin will do them waaay better. I don't know what to do. I feel confused and hurt
- 8 months agoFavourite answer
Yea it doesn't sound like any of this has anything to do with you at all. It sounds like you could be "model pretty" (and maybe you are) but he'd still be making these comments. Sounds like there's something about you that is triggering him and is making him lash out at you (maybe he's jealous that you are young, or even worse maybe he's attracted to you so he keeps calling you ugly to compensate. Either way it's not healthy from a parent). I had a friend in highschool who was gorgeous, but her mother would also regularly make negative comments about her appearance, which was weird considering how pretty she was (I'm assuming the mother was jealous).
I know it's tough, but I wouldn't take anything he says personally. He's a narcissist with a VERY fragile ego, so he needs to put other people down in order to feel better, and because you're his child and therefore cannot leave he makes you his target. Be mindful that you do not choose men like him for your romantic partner in the future. Good luck with your GCSE's - good grades and getting a good degree will be your best shot at being independent from your parents.
- 8 months ago
Your dad has some self esteem problems, or he is just verbally abusive and mean. Either way, saying something like that about your own daughter is disgusting and if I were you I'd just stay away from him.
- 8 months ago
Your dad is Verbally abusing you, and your mom is letting him. I recommend you find some where else to live, even if it is a foster family.
- ArcherLv 78 months ago
It seems you choose to give your fathers insecurity significance in your life.
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- Anonymous8 months ago
First, on that strange comment about a rant, technically the person is right because ranting isn't allowed and you never asked a question. But it's very obvious you're asking what to do. Also, that answer can be reported as well, because it's considered "chat".
Anyway, where the heck is your mom while your dad is insulting you like this? If my dad had said even one of these things to me, my mom would have taken him aside and ripped him a new one. Your mom isn't coming across very well here, but she might be the person who can help.
Maybe you could remind her that women who end up in abusive relationships ALWAYS have low esteem. Abusers have some kind of built in radar where they seek these women out. Talk to her about this and then ask her point blank if this is what she wants for you. If nothing else, she should offer to get you some talk therapy. This isn't a punishment, because you'll be glad you did it. The therapist will help you understand that your dad's idiot comments have nothing to do with who you are. He's just a loudmouthed bully.
- wind_updollLv 78 months ago
Do you have a job? If not, start saving up to move out. This is abuse, and you should begin therapy to sort these lies out.
- Pearl LLv 78 months ago
that might be considered verbal abuse, wonder what cps would say if you told them about it
- Dr. DLv 78 months ago
Start by communicating with your parents.
Tell your mom that your dad is making you hate yourself. Tell her that he really is hurting you and you need her help.
When you dad says you look bad, then respond by asking him where did you get your ugly genes from? (They came from him.) Whenever he suggests that your appearance isn't good, then put the blame back on him. He gave you his genes.
Remind your parents that you count on them to help protect you and build up your self esteem. You get enough attacks on your position on the social hierarchy from your peers. You don't need attacks from your father as well.
- kevinLv 68 months ago
Well he's a dick.... Plain and simple. Don't listen to him and the next time he does this tell him how you feel and don't let him belittle you that way. He probably has self confidence issues of his own and he's just projecting them on you. Dad's don't do that normally and it's not because he's right, he's just a dick. stand up for yourself and don't take that ****.
- Anonymous8 months ago
Reported for ranting