Am I making a mistake ..?

I would like some general opinions & advice, not saying I’m going to follow these strictly.

So I currently live with my boyfriend of 2 years, I love him a lot and there’s not really anything wrong with our relationship. We have seen each other’s flaws and still love each other. We are best friends as well as bf/gf so it’s all good. We recently moved (because he’s going to university) to a city outside Manchester, it’s a lot smaller and there’s a lot less people.


We met in Manchester and lived there (separately) until then – I don’t like the city we have moved to.

I miss my old flat, my old job/ place of work & my school.

I am unhappy on my way to school and work (which I used to enjoy), I often look for excuses to skip things and be lazy because the only good thing about being in this city is being with him and laying in bed so I’ll often look for excuses to skip education & work.

This was not the case before - but I cannot imagine my life without him and even if I go back to Manchester not everything will be the same (but some things will)

Keep in mind that we do argue sometimes and at times he can be controlling and tell me not to apply for certain jobs or not to go on certain holidays with my family, not to wear certain things.

I was also not allowed to choose a certain subject in college.

But is it all worth it if I get to live with my best friend?

Am I making a huge mistake if I move & risk loosing him?

9 Answers

  • Linda
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    The problem is more than just the area that you don't like. Your bf is telling you what to wear, where to work, and what classes you can't and can attend. While you can get used to a new area, your bf is way too controlling and you are allowing this. By you saying I couldn't take a certain subject in school you are giving away your power to him. For this to work, you need to set boundaries with him and don't allow him that kind of control over you. As far as the new town goes, try to adjust by making new friends and developing new interests. If you don't like your job you can get another one. Best of luck!

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    The time we invest in school-aged relationships is never a waste because it teaches us how to have adult relationships when we're older. If you're both still in education it means you're still quite transient and have no idea where you'll end up once you finish your degrees and start looking for real jobs. So do what you need to do to be your most productive. If once you're both finished with school and ensconced in careers you still desire to be together you'll find a way to make it work. If not then it just means this was typical of young relationships in that it wasn't meant to last.

  • Raja
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You are making a mistake by not giving priority to your education.You have moved to a city outside Manchester and is not very happy.Chances are all because of your relationship with a guy who is more concerned with his education and progress .You are almost sacrificing your future on his behalf .Maintain your friendship and get back to Manchester and plan your future.

  • 1 month ago

    Frankly, I think that you ought to leave him.  You are not married to him and he is telling you what to wear and which subjects to take?  That is wrong, and you should know that.  It seems to me that he is just using you.  Move back and forget him or you willy sorry in a couple of years. He is not your best friend and he is making you unhappy but you are not noticing.

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  • 1 month ago

    Time will tell!

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You need to talk’ things through

    We do not know your situation well enough

  • Mikey
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You'd be making a mistake by staying there. You've now become his servant. I'm guessing that's not what you wanted.

  • d j
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    You're not sure if he's your best friend.

    He's cut you off of everything.

    You're living your life on his terms.

  • 1 month ago

    Moving with a controlling guy was your mistake

    he controls, where you live, what job you do, where you go, when you see family and even your subjects in college


    they are preventing you from seeing those HUGE red flags

    You are waxing lyrical about how wonderful he is

    he isnt

    he is a controlling muppet


    • carly1 month agoReport

      The only reason I accept the controlling ness is because I tell him not to do a lot of things too.. but subjects & family holidays is taking it too far I guess I wouldn’t do that

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