I slapped (18M) my sister (14F)? Was I in the wrong? And how could I have handled it better?
I'm 18 (male) and currently living with my parents (I graduated last June and have trouble finding a job). In that house also lives my older brother (21), my younger sister (16), and the sister in question (14).
So my sister is 14 and got kicked out of school for poor performance (35%! She skipped almost every day). The only thing she does is staying at home playing video games. As both my mother and brother have to work late, I offered to take care of the house.
Well, my duties is keeping the house clean and cook for my sisters. Since I don't see why I should be the only one cleaning, I give menial tasks to my sisters (empty the dish washer, take out the trash etc.).
Yesterday I asked my 14-year-old sister to clean a dirty window. She was busy playing GTA and told me "later". 2 hours later after I was done with everything else I asked her if she would EVER do the window. "Goddamnit, later" was all I got back. I cleaned it myself and it took me 2 minutes. After I was done I told her that doing nothing is what a useless brat like her does best. She got angry and said "I f*ucking hate you, go f*uck yourself" while she ran to her room. I followed her and told her that she just can't talk to me like that. She then showed her middle finger to me and said "f*uck you". That's when I exploded in rage and slapped her in the face. It was probably very hard, as she was crying and holding her left eye and cheek.
Was I wrong to slap her?
And how could I have handled it better?
Forgot to mention that she has been caught shoplifting multiple times and my mother ends up paying the fine.
She also likes to kick guys in the balls and she often does it as hard as she can. When the boy falls grabbing his junk crying, she just stands there laughing.
We had another argument and she kicked me in the balls. This is actually the second time she did it. The first time was when I pulled her hair for two years ago. This was the most painful thing I ever have experienced. I fell down on my knees and almost cried because it was so painful. I couldn't walk for the rest of the day and it still hurts. In the morning, she told me she won't forgive me for slapping her until I say she was justified in kicking them.
- hartLv 62 weeks ago
You are a Rotten Boot
- FoofaLv 73 weeks ago
Obviously you were in the wrong because physical violence is NEVER the answer. But this household is a disaster. This 14 y.o. sister needs to be getting an education somewhere and you should be either in college or vocational training as well (because there's a reason you can't find a decent job with just a high school diploma). Apparently there's still a mother in this home so talk to her about what she plans to do with this sister. It's not even legal for a kid that age to not be in some kind of education, even if it's just homeschooling/distance education.
- Alan HLv 73 weeks ago
You overreacted, but at your age that Is understandable
Your parents may be wiser to tell her in front of you that she has to join In tasks
- Anonymous3 weeks ago
No it wasn't wrong. Your sister seems to be a difficult child. But do tell her sorry & also explain her that she abusing you wasn't right in a loving manner. And never slap her again even if she provokes you. Take help of family/Friends or a counsellor or come up with unique innovative ideas to make her complete school & high school & also find out that one hobby/interest of hers which she likes doing (apart from playing mobile games) which you can use to channel her attention towards it to not only do studies related to it but also make a career out of it when she is between 18-26 (whichever helps in making her all right) to discipline her & maker her life productive.
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- Coach SimonLv 74 weeks ago
It isn't your job to tell your siblings what to do and give them tasks - that is for your parents. Of course it is wrong to hit someone!!
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
I never said should. I said could. Please look up should, and could.
She could have hurt you down below, but she didn't. I am not saying she should hurt you.
I think she could have kicked your junk, or grabbed then squeeze it that's between your legs, but she didn't. Jack, just don't bother her anymore.
Anyway I think you should be more focused on yourself. Finding work is not easy!
- Chae-wonLv 44 weeks ago
You are a prick. Words and violence and you could have turned around. You hit a girl, what a punk>
- PearlLv 74 weeks ago
yes,it was wrong and you owe her an apology big time
- A.J.Lv 74 weeks ago
I don't believe assault and battery is ever the right solution. In terms of household tasks are 4 capable siblings that all chores should be divided according to ability and capability in a way that all four agree. Anyone walking out of the meeting waives their rights and can be assigned chores. Parents approve or change the plan and have the final say on all punishment. The 18 or older two can move out if not satisfied.
"I offered to take care of the house." was a mistake. You cannot take responsibility without authority. You need to revise the arrangements and apologize for hitting your lazy brat sister. and add - the genders are irrelevant.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Yes you were definitely in the wrong. You are in no position to be distributing household tasks and admonishing your sister. These are your parent's responsibilities. In the future you need to take up your grievances of the distribution of household tasks with your parents and if you don't like how they deal with it then address it with them. Ultimately at this point in your life your sole responsibility is to figure out how to get a job, any job and move out even if you have to live with a few roommates. As an 18 year old brother you will never be able to fix your sister's dysfunction and it's not your responsibility to try.