Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

How can I stop thinking about the fact that I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend and most likely never will? It's really tormenting me? Help?

I'm a 26 years old guy. I've never had a girlfriend in my entire life and most likely never will.

I am aware of that but for some reason I have a hard time accepting it.

Dating life nowadays is not easy for guys: most girls are rather interested in a career, they don't want a serious relationship, they have very high standards when it comes to guys, they usually are not interested in having children, etc.

Even dating websites are a waste of time. The ratio is 3 or 4 men for every single woman.

If I also take into consideration the number of bisexual or lesbian women, it can only get worse.

I'm not an alpha male. I'm average looking with an average income and an average career.

So dating will probably never be an option for me. I try to convince myself that I can live with it, after all... life is more than just marriage and kids.

As long as I love myself and I love God, everything will be fine but deep inside it still hurts.

I pray that God will help me find the right path and will eventually help me find peace in this life (as well as the next one) but for now I'm struggling hard.

And as if things are not hard enough, it's holidays season again... that only makes things 10 times worse for me.

I try to stay positive and not get too depressed but sometimes I feel like there's simply too much.. too much sadness, too much suffering, too much disappointment. I understand that life is supposed to be hard, but sometimes I feel like it's a bit too hard.

Update:

I won't lie.. there have been many times when I thought about putting an end to this miserable life, but obviously I know that's not the way and besides that's now what God wants me to do.

I have my friends and family but obviously it's not the same.

I have many friends (guys) that are in my situation (never dated a girl). Some time ago I would say I'm fine because there are so many guys out there that have been single their entire life, nothing new.

Update 2:

However I start to realize that it's almost always guys who are feeling this way.

And it makes me so angry... and obviously I don't want to be angry. Anger and pain are not things that will make my life better, but I really can't help it.

Sometimes I hate that I have to live a life like this but it's what it's.

Anyway, any advice? how can I stop thinking about all of this? 

3 Answers

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Twenty-six is a good age to seriously start searching for someone. Why would you think that you could never get a girlfriend? And why accept it? Many girls still want to get married and have children. Maybe not at the rate it was in the 60s or 70s, but still a wide percentage. I met my husband on POF and we are happily married so dating sites can be good places to meet others. The men to women ratio may be correct but you can still find a decent person if you weed through them carefully. Bisexual and lesbian men and women usually are in a different section, so you can't count them. Most men are betas, so you can't blame that on you not being a specific type. Most of us are average looking and we are not rich, so that is not something you can use as a reason why you cannot find or say you can never find a woman. Your reasoning on why you can never date sounds really off to me. And I really don't know why at the age of 26 that you are planning your life out now and thinking you'll always be like this without thinking things can change? I can understand your frustration but part of this is you not believing that things can change and you are probably depressed also. Your belief in God is good but you seem to feel like you are doomed. You may have seasonal depression, and many people get down at this time of the year. All the sadness and discouragement that you are feeling makes me think you are clinically depressed and you may need therapy and medication to help you, such as an SSRI. I take zoloft and it helps me considerably. Life is hard but it shouldn't be the way you feel it is. If you feel down about life, women will pick up on your vibes and that might make them feel like you are too pessimistic. And because you brood upon it for a long time, it is making you even more depressed. My advice is talk to a therapist and talk to a doc about medication and then go out and work on making a better life for yourself by getting involved in church single groups, join a gym, volunteer, join a club of your choice. Then try the dating sites again and this time around, you're bound to meet the right person. I have been divorced twice and then in 2014 I met my husband on a dating site and we have been happily married. If I never took another chance after being burned before, I would be lonely and miserable just like you. Life is what you make it. Anticipate it. Celebrate it. Don't backdate it. Good luck my friend.

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    • Linda
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      Why are you feeling this way Jake? What recently happened that stressed you out to this point? I can give you my email address if you want to talk?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    There’s nothing wrong with anger if it motivates you to do something about it. It might be a fact that you never had a girlfriend. It isn’t a fact that you never will. It’s only a possibility.

    Take charge, fella. It’s attractive.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I'm 23 and I never had a boyfriend. See you're not the one 

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