Why am I always the issue?

I am a 16 (17 in a month) year old high school student in Virginia. I've recently had to end my relationship with my 18 year old boyfriend because of the issues within my family and they always blame him for causing them when he isn't. We've gone to family therapy but it's too expensive to continue. My mother is the main issue with who starts problems. She will constantly go to me and tear me down (been happening since I was 8), to the point where I now cry myself asleep and only feel safe sleeping in my closet. Many times I feel like if I were to disappear I can no longer feel this heart break. My mother is emotionally abusive but would deny it when i'd tell her what it means to be that. Here I am crying an hour before I need to leave for school, without a phone, without knowledge of what's happening and constantly afraid of my mother. I've never hated my life more.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You're not the issue, your ex boyfriend is (because he's 18 and in the state of Virginia his being with you is considered statutory rape). Talk to a school counselor about what lower cost therapy you might be able to get into. Your mother might be a raving lunatic but until you learn to control some of your drama you'd get nowhere in family counseling anyway. Best to do this soon because if you don't master some coping mechanisms by the time you're 18 you'll be in serious danger of going off the rails. There's a reason the brain is bigger than the heart.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    if shes being abusive call cps

  • 8 months ago

    I don't mean to diminish your problems, I know they are very real to you.  But what you may not realize is how common they are.  It's the struggle from childhood to adulthood many of us go through dealing with parents who (may not even be aware) don't want to allow us to grow up.

    So rather than dwelling on the bad situation you are in today, focus on the freedom you can achieve in a little more than 1 year.  Once 18, you won't be able to credibly blame anyone but yourself for your situation so get prepared for it.  Not enough money to live by yourself?  Get a job and learn how much money you will need to support yourself (you may need roommates, I know I did).  Good Luck.

  • 8 months ago

     I am sorry you have to go through this. No mother should treat a child like that. Continue making an effort to see a school counselor and when you turn 18, get out of that house as soon as you can. Your mother must have been treated the same way growing up, or she harbors some sort of resentment towards you.

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  • 8 months ago

    See if you can schedule an appt with your school counselor, and tell them what’s going on. Is it possibly for you to acquire a job? If so, you’ll be distracted and can save for your future when you move out.

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