Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 8 months ago

Why does narcissistic mother want therapy session with son? And would you go?

So my husband has a narcissistic mother. Once we got married 2 years ago she lost her manipulation power over him and his mother lost it. Disowning him, saying she's thrown out all his baby stuff (lies) and telling him he'd never amount to anything and he's mental so good luck on holding the marriage. Shes even threatened multiple times to take her passed down engagement ring from me because of my husband's "behavior", he did nothing, mind you. All my husbands comebacks to her have been him telling her she has to let him leave the nest and she can't control him anymore the way she's trying to as he has a family of his own now. Well we've gone a year with no contact aside from the occasional phone call of her screaming about how much he hurt her. In fact she convinced herself that he's the crazy one and has convinced his whole family that too. Well now she's asking him to go to a therapy session with her. His sister just visited her a couple weeks ago and can confirm her crazy is still very much present. What do you think are her intentions with this and would you go to this session?

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  • 8 months ago

    You need to move far away.

    I know, I had a crazy mother like that and in laws like that to.

    Parents still parenting, not letting go.

    I wouldnt answer her and if you do have a phone conversation I'd hang up as soon as she starts the crazy. I'd tell her that too.

    We not only moved out of state but, we called when we wanted to...they didnt have a number to call or an address until we sent it ( before cell phones)

    You need your own life, your own choices and all that matters at the end of the day is you and him.

    It's tough to get a marriage on the right track and all the moaning, complaining from other family isnt worth ruining your day or relationship. 

    So discuss this topic with hubby and develop a plan together.

    Stop answering

    Stop calling

    Never go to counseling with her she's a manipulative mother and it's working for her...she gets a reaction from you.

    I'd be honest with sister, brother because I get along with those people but, they have to respect my choices to not talk to any of them.

    Move forward for you and your hubby and let her go. 

    I've had a great quiet 5 years with no family telling me what to do and being disrespectful. 

    Good luck...I know your misery

  • 8 months ago

    No, he shouldn't. Cut off all contact and be done with it.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    White people acting weird and crazy

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I'm curious why you're asking this question.  Is it safe to assume your husband wants to go with her and you're trying to get good arguments to talk him out of it?  If so, this is kind of scary.  She doesn't sound like a narcissist.  She sounds like a mommy who can't let go of her son and she's also batshit crazy.  The scary part is that she has probably damaged her son in some ways, especially if there's no father in the picture.  It's hard to grow up with a mom like her and their dynamics have been in place since the day he was born and they first made eye contact.

    Anyway, I'm saying all this because of course he shouldn't go with her.  In fact, he shouldn't even be in contact with her.  If he really thinks this idea makes sense, you need to find a way to encourage him to find his own therapist and work through whatever issues he has with her.   When you ask what her intentions are, it doesn't even matter.  You know who she is and her intentions are bad.  She hasn't suddenly morphed into a normal woman who wants to work on her relationship with her son.

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  • 8 months ago

    She doesn't sound narcissistic to me. It sounds more like borderline personality disorder, but anyway, yeah I'd go. At least he can say he did everything he could to mend to mend the relationship and who knows. Maybe something there will help a little.

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Do it. Can't hurt and might help; your husband might learn something useful from the therapist, you know? And it might help Mumsy. That would be ideal, wouldn't it, for Mumsy to "get with the program" and stop being crazy? 

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