Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 8 months ago

Girlfriend broke down crying and said she can't accept the money I gathered for her surgery... but I did everything for her why does she act?

Like this now? I managed to earn the thousands dollars she needed for the surgery of her scar. The surgeon already told her it's not going to be like it was before but it can be of course improved. My girlfriend cried and said she cant accept cause she feels at fault for me coming home exhausted the last months I did my own job, a part time one and also did some interpreting in order to earn more. I did it all for her because when she cries and thinksshe's ugly and has ptsd attacks, in which she relives the attack endured from a racist bully who cut her with the knife leaving a scar on her cheek that she always covers with hair and makes her cry and insecure (this has been going on for more than 10 years before I met her). She always said she hates herself and hates the person who did that and feels weak and vulnerable while others girls have all pretty faces and no scars, and they are never afraid and damaged like she is. I just couldn't bear it anymore so I earned all the money through weekend hours without rest for months. And now she tells me she doesn't deserve it, that she's a mess and that she hates herself for bringing depression and sadness in my life. I said of course not I love you I did this for you but she kept on crying. I told her 'I dont want you to think anymore about him when you look in the mirror' and she broke down crying again. I think she's still traumatized but I wamt to erase his memory out of her head if I jidt could 

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I'm no expert. But it sounds like her depression, anxiety and insecurity has taken a strong hold. She has become this pain. That scar. It's a very painful reminder. She can't let go. Her scar, her pain, has "disfigured" her self-image. She needs therapy and as much love and compassion as she can receive. And it sounds like she is getting a lot (but apparently not enough) from you (not claiming you didn't do your best). I can tell she is a very humble lady. You are a great guy for trying. And you have a great gal. Sorry this happened to her. But...she needs to move on. Try to get her to seek therapy. She may have become secretly suicidal, even...? So, you, someone who obviously loves her, needs to try to get her the help she can get to continue to old age (hopefully with you), and move past her sorrow and fear. 

    And, btw, thanks for being a good person.

  • 8 months ago

    Wow. That is so sweet what you did.

    I hope she works through her PTSD and starts to feel better.

    It sounds like the PTSD is worse than the scar itself.

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