Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 2 months ago

Girlfriend is mad at me about her daughter?

I was over at my girlfriends place (we been together for a year) her daughter was acting up, and not listening. I told her she needs a spank, and she needs to be harder on her. She gets away with to much.

My girlfriend put her in time out, and once you calm down we will talk. Her daughter kept crying, and again she said you need to sit there for 7 mins. Being calm. Her daughter kept crying, and I said your being a cry baby! Her daughter got mad at me, and started to cry more, and I told her fake tears won't work, and did a fake cry and called her a cry baby. Her daughter yelled me and said stop being a bully. I told her she is a cry baby

My girlfriend said that is mean. I said it's though love, and she said stuff was said to me growing up that still gets to me. You can still teach them, and be hard on them when needed without being a jerk.

How about ignoring the crying, putting her to bed early. Simply telling her crying is not going to help her get her way. You don't need to call her a cry baby.

I said it makes them tough.. And now she is mad at me

15 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I mean that's how my father raised me. if it were not for him, I would've grown spoilt. and sure, a delicate approach is needed at times, and definitely show that you love the child. however, you do need to teach them that crying is okay, yet it will not solve their problems and that they need to try to solve their problems instead of crying them away. then again, as long as you are not abusing the child then it is your choice on how to parent your child.

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  • 2 months ago

    Ok first of all I think yall are both bad at parenting. Yes the mom needs to learn how to do the timeouts properly but you shouldn't be calling her a cry baby either. Not only is this going to lower the girls self esteem but this is a very immature thing for an adult to do. Instead of acting like a child yourself, why not try going to family counseling to resolve the issue or why don't you and your girlfriend take parenting classes. I myself remember times where my stepmother and her son ( before she married my dad) used to make fun of me in the living room such as making fun of how I coped with anger and disappointment ( it would often be taking it out on my belongings or my own body). But the only reason that I did these things in the first place was because I was being bullied in school and was afraid that my stepmother would blame me if I told my dad about the bullying because of how weird I was. I'm not dwelling on the past or anything but I was using my experience as an example so unless you want your girlfriend's daughter to end up like that, I suggest that you start treating her with respect.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Time outs and her mother puts her to bed? Sounds like a young child, and newsflash: they cry. 

    Maybe your parents treated you like that, that doesn't make it ok to do it to someone else. The true measure of a man is how he treats people who can't do anything about it. Sounds like you're an emotionally stunted bully!

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  • 2 months ago

    I'd like to know what makes you or any other person think that they have a right to comment on other people's parenting methods. You're telling your girlfriend she needs to spank her daughter, you're mocking the child, you're calling the child names right in front of her ---- what is your issue? Whether your girlfriend wants to be strict with her daughter or just let the child do whatever she wants is NOT your business. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Be patient. When you raise a child you can either raise a slave who responds only to violence or a independent person who makes the choice to be good. 

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  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You are not her parent. Mind your own business

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  • 2 months ago

    You are being mean to her daughter 

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  • 2 months ago

    Lol I think you could have disciplined her without acting like a child yourself, but yeah your gf seems to be pretty soft on her kid.

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  • 2 months ago

    She's right to be mad at you. You were being a jerk. You can say "You can still teach them, and be hard on them when needed without being a jerk" but you were still a jerk.

    When there's a kid crying, it's not the time to lecture your girlfriend on how to raise her child. It's not your job to step in and talk to the child either. 

    Spanking only teaches a child that it's OK to hit someone smaller than you. It doesn't work. If it did, you'd only have to spank a child once. It also damages your relationship with a child permanently. I think your girlfriend was right to point out that you're damaged from the way you were raised.

    Think about where this relationship is going. If you intend to marry your girlfriend, then you can have a say in how the child is raised AFTER you marry her. Otherwise, you're just the guy she's dating. And if you don't intend to marry her, why don't you break up so she can find someone who is willing to commit?

    If you're planning to get married, take some parenting classes together so you can learn how to raise a child. You clearly don't know and you're a bully, and what's worse is that you think you're right.

    Your girlfriend is raising her child right. I hope she doesn't marry you.

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  • 2 months ago

    I'd be mad at you too. For one thing it isn't your daughter and for another what you did is not helpful and will not make anyone 'tough'. You were taunting her like a child would, not an adult. Learn some parenting skills or don't interfere.

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