Can I be selfish with money in a marriage?
I'm the only one working and making money but I consider the money ours. But I feel like I deserve to indulge myself once in awhile. Is it wrong for me to selfishly spend money on useless stuff when I don't let her spend it on useless stuff?
So I told my wife I pre-ordered a $70 Final Fantasy VIII remake for my PS4. I've liked this game since I was 10 (18 years ago) and basically wishing for it my whole life. So it means a lot to me. She asked why I can spend that money but she can't. She wants to get a tattoo.
Our financial situation was better last month with less bills. But since 2020's mandatory health insurance, there's $400 off my paycheck. We're not broke but will barely have about $100/month to put in savings. So buying this game means $70 less savings for that month.
We also have a 6 month old baby but he has his own checking account so baby stuff don't really affect our finances.
I also have a tendency of playing a new game for a few days and losing interest. My PS4 has been collecting dust since last August 😬 But I feel like I'll like this game enough to not lose interest.
I'm also the only one who's working and making money. I feel like I deserve to spend it on myself sometimes... Or am I being selfish?
I'm new to this whole "we" "ours" mindset but is this situation really that bad.
Anyway we had an argument and she's now in the bedroom while I'm in the living room thinking about whether I should apologize or she should.
- No MercyLv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
my outlook on this is as such:
1. if u save money all your life when are u going to live and spend it? when u re old, ill and dead? nothing horrible will happen if u buy a game and do not put 100 in savings this month
2. if u wanted to work for money and enjoy things u should have never got married and got a baby. from the point the new life was born YOUR LIFE WAS OVER. now u should not think about u and your game and your pleasure, u should think about your child. when the child grows and moves out then u may start enjoying life again.
either way u re totally wrong with your philosophy
also a 28 year old with a new born baby who is thinking of buying a game? I feel sorry for your wife and your baby
- .Lv 71 month ago
So your wife is a stay at home mom, with a 6 month old child. You work outside the home for a paycheck, and she works IN the home for no paycheck. Yes, you wanting money for a game you may or may not get bored with soon is selfish, when your post implies that she does not 'work' because she doesn't bring in an income. You didn't complain that she doesn't keep the house tidy, meals cooked, shopping done, and isn't raising the child, so one would assume she IS doing all those things (for no pay). If anything, SHE's the one who deserves a little "treat".
- Dr. StephanieLv 71 month ago
Money issues are one of the most common marital problems causing conflicts. You and your wife need to come to an agreement about how each of you will handle them. My recommendation would be that each of you have an affordable amount set aside , for spending money, that you can use as you each wish, without having to ask permission or obtain agreement from your spouse. Having said this, I find it rather juvenile that someone your age would be wanting to spend his time and money on a computer game, sounds like something a pre-adolescent/teenager would do. What about spending time with parenting your baby and being with your wife, instead?
- 1 month ago
I find gaming technologies fascinating.
It maybe wise for you to look beyond what you already know and if you're going to spend money that you kinda don't really have, think ahead and see if you and/or/with your child might enjoy playing it in a few years. It might contribute to your "family time".
I don't know what you mean by useless. If you have something in physical form that is built to last, can be technologically upgraded as many gaming systems are... let's also remember that a beautiful tattoo can also bring pleasure to the eye when maintenaned... then the value works for itself because it prolongs enjoyment of having the material things.
price + short term enjoyment leads to unhappiness, dissatisfaction in life and overspending in general
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- funnyLv 71 month ago
Live & let live. All need some freedom in spending. Once in a way fine & you don’t lose much !
- choko_canyonLv 71 month ago
You're either trolling, or acting like a real a**hole. You're in a marriage with your child's mother. You're not 16 anymore. You don't get to pretend that you can do whatever you want without thinking of anyone else. If I was advising your wife instead of you, I'd tell her to give you ONCE chance to straighten your *** out before contacting an attorney and divorcing your sorry self.