Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

I was raped.. ???

So this is about a man who is currently on the rise of being a singer.. I’m not trying to gain anything from this I simply just worked up the courage to tell him how I felt and how to treat woman better. Anyways 

I invited him and his friend over to a party I was having. The only bathroom was in my room and I saw he was going up there alone and I didn’t really know this man so I went to make sure he wasn’t stealing etc. He being kissing me and made me fall to my bed and trying to pull of my clothes. I said no maybe 20-30 times but he persisted and persisted. Again I don’t know who this man is or what he’s capable of. He began tugging on my clothes as I said no and I just let it happen. I didn’t know what to do in that moment. I was so uncomfortable and in shock. 

I confronted him about this a couple weeks later. He accused me of being ridiculous and that this is false etc.. I believe he’s acting this way because he’s scared I’ll ruin his fast acting music career. However he’s accusing me of being the crazy one. What can I do 

Update:

taking away from the “what can I do”. What is trying to get at is if wether or not this is considered rape in the eyes of others.. 

Update 2:

Another update. I’m not trying to gain from this however I know he used to abuse his ex and if he can do these things to me etc he can do it to others. I want to speak up so that this doesn’t happen again 

29 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    No means no. There are women who let it happen after continually saying no because they're scared something might escalate to the point of being injured or killed. Get any evidence you can find. This includes witnesses that were there that can attest to your mental state before & after. Go to the police and file a report. People who are guilty are always going to play the blame game. They're going to call you names and make threats because it's going to cause them problems... Don't be passive on this.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You should of called the police, if you knew about what hes done in the past, why did you invite him, i dont understand, go to the police, maybe he has a record or others went to the police

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  • 1 month ago

    Haha i raped Otis. whats your problem!?!?!?!

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  • 1 month ago

    I would call this rape.  Many times, I have been at a party and a girl is drunk, or half passed out.  It never occurred to me, to take advantage of them.  Most good men would not.  Even if he was drunk, and at first thought you wanted to have sex, once you pushed him away once and said no, he should have stopped.  Even, if he is uses to having girls throw them self at him, because he is a semi-famous.  Even if you used poor judgement going up stairs alone, with him, he should have stopped when you said no.  Now what to do?  it is a hard one.  Coming forward, will bring some unfair attention.  Because you did not report it when it happened, cuts the chances in half of him getting any kind of punishment.  And that is less then 30%.  There will always be some people who will say it was your fault.  Sorry for that.  I had 2 sisters who were raped, and a judge and our own mother first blamed my sister for being raped.  That is how I became a raped crisis counselor. Reporting a rape, usually has more negative effect on the woman then on the man.  Again sorry for that, it is not fair. Even if you did every thing right to be safe, someone can still find away to take advantage of us.  Yes I said, us.    1 out of 3 girls/women, and 1 out of 5 boys/men are assaulted.  Usually because someone take advantage of someones trust.  You can still report it, and make a police report.  Just to bring attention to he can take advantage of women and women should be on alert.  Sure some women would not believe you, mainly because they like him, and want to be with him. Or want him as her boyfriend.  Or like most women who do not want to believe, they can not tell a bad guy from a good guy.  Or you did something wrong, or changed your mind after sex. any reason why someone might take advantage of you and not them.  But if this was his first time, he did not listen to a woman saying no, it might help others to come forward, and tell their story too. Even though 1 time is too many, no means no. I have gone over cautious, by when I was not sure a woman wanted me to make a move, I  did not. And a few times she made the move, and a few times, a day or two later I was told they wanted me to make a move. No big deal. Out of a dozen possible I had sex with half a few days later. as I said, 3 made the move on me. And 1-3 either I made the right decision, or I missed my chances to be with them.  OK. So if you decide to report it, at the very least others would hear it is possible, he will take advantage of women. So if other women are smart they might make sure if they do not want to have sex with him, they won't be alone with him.  And if there are others, they may also come forward.  And of course, do not contact him, again, call, or go to his house, or any party you know he will be at.  Its unfair, you might have to skip a party once in a while, if you hang in the same circles, I would find new circles to hang with, which is also unfair.  But I do not hang with any person who was mean or who took advantage of me. And I am a man, and was taken advantage by both men and women. Both for me was about money.  Good luck.  No one has the right to hurt or take advantage of you, period.  

    • ko1 month agoReport

      Dude, did she say no and cried or she uttered a half turned on no. Huge difference. You see rape everywhere and shouldn't be rape counselor. You are so beta and over cautious it's a mental issue.

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  • 1 month ago

    Many People get angry when women are told to think, use good judgment, be careful & take responsibility for their own safety. However, rather than becoming angry, we should ALL be careful & think & use good judgment to protect ourselves.

    Following a strange man into a bedroom alone is not using good judgment.

     That does NOT excuse him for raping you. However, it did give him the opportunity. 

     You have already gotten good advice from others as to what can & cannot be done about the situation now.

     One more thing I would stress: If you truly do not want something like that to happen again, as you say, stay away from this person completely! By continuing to contact him you may be sending a message to his MESSED UP MIND that you want him (physically again).

    • ko1 month agoReport

      Stop calling this rape. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I've seen this tons of times, have you seen ProJared?

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  • 1 month ago

    don't go near someone who shown a phone someone grab a other person on it it only heartbreak those kind of people you don't want in your life. if tell you are your hurt or thow hair brush at be a queen of englad, I learn the hard way of this if you join a drama corse find hidden you or dance arounder the world you are going get hurt big time and watch out who run it, the one who took her friend pen and other bits had very right idel by it in this format

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  • 1 month ago

    Why are you worried about his career? Honey NO is NO!! Call the police dept and file a report. They cannot prove it through DNA now because there isn't any evidence since you didn't report this right away. They will bring him in for questioning and do a lie detector test... Yet this is still confusing that you still are having contact with him, This is a police matter an you should get into therapy as soon as possible. Long term effects can be bad for your mental health. Have u washed the cloths you had on or the bed sheets since then? Any proof is better than none. Saying prayers

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  • 1 month ago

    maybe you should tell the police about it

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  • 1 month ago

    Do you think we are police officers?

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