Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

I need answers, should I live with him and his mother or go to a women's shelter with my baby?

So February I'm giving birth and can't live in a rooming house with my baby. My options are living with my child's father temporarily at his mother's house with him while we work on getting an apartment together OR going to a women's shelter where they have pregnant women and women with kids. He's been abusive to me in different forms and neglecting me during this pregnancy. The shelter provides counseling, education etc but they said I must get counseling and have a plan. My first child was taken from me years ago, I was a teen mom and didn't leave the abusive dad so they considered me unfit and took my son years ago. I fear that if I go to the shelter they'll want to take my daughter away. I'm so hurt right now and confused. Please give me uplifting advice.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    NOT him.

    Abandon him.

    He is abusive and you need to get you and your daughter away before one/both of you are seriously hurt .. .or even killed.

    As for the shelter, they WANT to help you succeed and be able to take care of your baby. They will not take your baby away unless you are a danger to it .. or live with a man who is a danger to it (like your violent abusive boyfriend). No government wants to become responsible for raising your daughter . .they want YOU to become responsible.

    And talk to a lawyer about filing a request for Child Support with the Courts. Your girl deserves Child Support from BOTH parents ... that includes the father. You have to provide the other half, and the shelter will help you learn how to do that.

    Yes, the danger of losing your child is if you STAY with the father.

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  • 1 month ago

    You've already posted something else about this

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would go to the shelter and just tell them you wont stay with your abusive boyfriend and they might let you keep the baby then

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  • 1 month ago

    If he is abusive you should have got out of it the minute you found out but since you are now pregnant you should get away from him so with the choices you have now the shelter would be best and don't think he will change very few abusive people do so get out of it and if he wants to share parental rights then make sure he is not abusing your child but cross that bridge when you come to it but definitely plan your life without him in it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You're older now. If you follow the plans that they give you, they won't take your baby unless you are neglectful or abusive. You could try "community houses" that have housing based on affordability. Groups that do "housing first" to get you into a situation based on your ability to pay or that will help you get through until you can get a job and daycare assistance. But you should not stay with a man that is abusive. You are creating a cycle of poverty for yourself and your child though. It benefits no one to to grow up in poverty. Very few people have the moral fiber to get through the obstacles to rise above. Stop getting pregnant until you can take care of yourself and your children. This one is coming. But break the cycle so your baby doesn't have to end up like you.  Want more for yourself and want more for your baby. Staying with a man that's going to hold you down and letting your baby see someone treat you like crap just continues the cycle. 

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