Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentLaw & Ethics · 8 months ago

Should I confront my coworker with all the evidence that she has a crush on me?

She's always touching my arm or hair or face. Everytime we go out with a group of friends she sits next to me. I've never seen her get handsy with anyone else. Plus she always compliments my clothes even when they suck. I just saw her for the first time in a couple of weeks and she gave me a hug. I could feel everything. All of the other men we work with are fat and ugly. I'm the best one

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  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Your therapist should confront YOUR with this confession that YOU have an unhealthy obsession with her. She barely knows you exist.

  • 8 months ago

    No.

    Unfortunately you can't really safely do anything. She seems to be giving you a lot of signals, hoping that you will ask her out. But you have to act dumb as though you haven't noticed.

    Feminists consider it to be "harassment" if a man asks her out and she isn't attracted to him. In my country "unwanted invitations to go out on dates" is part of the legal definition of "sexual harassment" which is illegal in the workplace.

    Now you may reasonably believe that her behaviour indicates attraction, but if you actually ask her out she can turn the tables on you and deny any interest, and then complain. Of course if you're lucky she will accept, then it won't have been an "unwelcome invitation". But the risk isn't worth it.

    Because of modern sexual harassment law you need to act dumb and continue to receive her attention as though it was just a sign of friendship. She may get desperate enough to ask you out, but more likely she will give up. This will be sad, but it's the only safe course of action. You need to search for dating and romance outside the workplace.

    If you do decide to ask her out it isn't good strategy to "confront her with the evidence". Most women would get offended by such an approach even if they actually liked you.

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