Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 months ago

What's the best way to deal with my anger issues ? ?

I used to get called crazy (and other terrible names) by my mom a lot as a child, she said that it's "genetic", that I'll never change and that no one will ever love me.

She didn't even defend me when I got bullied in highschool and sexually molested (not rape but still) as a child, she still talks about my abuser (he's dead) in front of me like he's the greatest person, it triggers me and makes my anxiety worse.

Now I'm 20 years old dealing with several mental illnesses (possibly BPD too, among others). I'm in a state of depersonalisation most of the time and I cannot even study or focus. I get flashbacks of things that didn't even happen.

I'm introverted, depressed, bitter and angry at everyone all the time. I can't even go out anymore 'cause people disgust me and I can't trust anyone with anything. I get this urge of punching walls, ripping my hair off or beating someone up.

I really tried so hard to let go of my bitterness and be kind-hearted but I just can't, the hatred is consuming me.

I internalize EVERYTHING and it's exhausting honestly.

How do I get over things and be a good person? I hate myself for being me.

3 Answers

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  • 8 months ago

    Please ask your doctor thanks.

    Thanks

    Very best wishes

    Mars

    Source:) Study and Ethics

  • 8 months ago

    You should start with therapy. If I was working with you, I would first encourage you to have some love and empathy for yourself. Be the person to you that your mom should have been. Understand that your anger is hurt and pain, and you need to be soothed.

    We soothe with tea, quiet walks, meditation, calm music, watching nature shows, drawing pictures, etc. 

    Then you need to be loved. We love ourselves by recognizing as you do that you want to let the anger go, be a good person, be kind hearted. That's who you really are underneath all this. So, then do volunteer work (preferably in a cause that attracts people your age), such as in a boys and girls center, planned parenthood, a church, a political campaign, somewhere where you feel you are making a differences for others, giving them the chance to love you a little. 

    Then you want to reduce the rumination time through hobbies, socializing with chill friends, and avoiding drugs and alcohol as much as you can (because they give us lazy brain, that makes it so easy for us to dwell on stuff we don't want to think about). 

    Your mother was a great teacher in teaching you what not be. If can move out, move out, reduce contact with her to a minimum, and if she misbehaves don't take the bait, get away from her. You're only 20 years old. Technically, your not a full adult and brain still has another 5 years of physical development. It will take some time to heal, but you will. It starts with empathy for yourself, kindness for the child inside you, assuaging that child's pain with gentleness and self care. 

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Do what everyone else does who wants to overcome their anger issues. 

    Go to anger management lessons.

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