What do I do about my autistic son who refuses to do anything with his life besides play Fortnite (he turns 18 this summer)?

We pay for him to have a phone but he never talks to anyone. We tell him he can invite anyone over or go anywhere and he just stays in his bedroom and plays Fortnite all day. He is in online school and he's poised to graduate now but he doesn't leave the house at all anymore. He got his driver's permit but he refuses to go practice driving so he can get his license. He applied and interviewed at 5 jobs, almost got an offer at one of them but decided to not work there because he would rather stay home. We try to bribe him with allowance money to do chores around the house or learn life skills and he doesn't do anything. If we don't have easy to grab food for him he starves when my wife and I are working. He fights us to brush his teeth, wash his face, shower, and take his medicine (for acne - there are no medicines for Autism). I'm just not sure what to do. He doesn't want to be parented but he doesn't want to be given freedom to do what he wants either. He just wants to play Fortnite into infinity and be stuck in that game's ecosystem.

9 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    .........................

    • UV1 month agoReport

      Big mood

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Hockey
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Kick him out, make him live on his own.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Take his game away. Im real sorry but you sound like a terrible parent. 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I have an autistic nephew.  My sister refused the "on line" school.  He needs to get out of the house.  He was evaluated and then graduated after having a special tutor for about 6 years.  Her School District has several children with autism who are enrolled.

    My sister does not bribe my nephew, and she didn't start parenting him yesterday.  He's almost 18?  I suspect this issue didn't come up yesterday.

    I would look into assisted living for him.  His behavior would destroy my marriage and do a number on my other children.

    EDIT:   You are incorrect.  There are facilities for autistic children.  Sometimes the placement is Court ordered.  I am not aware of ANY State that doesn't have some type of placement.  Have you consulted with an attorney to force placement?

    • ...Show all comments
    • UV1 month agoReport

      I won't be putting my son in assisted living but thanks for the idea. He'll be with me forever, I just need to motivate him to do something other than games.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Nathan
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    He wants freedom - him arguing is him saying "I am doing what I want to do." The problem is that you are letting him play it - where are the consequences? Where's the discipline? If you do not want a child to do something then set boundaries, punishments and keep to them. Tell him that starting in a certain number of days he will only be allowed 2 hours to play fortunate each day. It will warn him, and then he will known what to expect. If there are no consequences of he does not listen to you then he will continue to be disobedient

  • 2 months ago

    bring him to a morgue and put the game controller in one of tha hands of dead bodies and tell him this is you....

    Or maybe try a social approach. get him a microphone and tell him he has to talk to other people if he wants to play...or take the system away and tell him no playing until he after he works an 8 hour shift...destroy the system if you have to....yes of course he is going to whine for a while

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    EDIT: did you FIGHT for special ed services?  until a court says no services, the school denial is not the final word.  why did he do online school? if he couldn't function in a regular class and complete his work, that is grounds to get special ed services (he could still be in regular classes with OT, ABA support)

    did you ever seek psych/ABA/OT services through your insurance?

    smack yourself upside the head for letting it get to this point.  fyi, there is medication for aggression from autism, but if a person is not aggressive, anything else is experimental.

    he should have been getting appropriate special education services in a brick and mortar school.  he could have done a half day in school to get the support services and done core academics online.

    he needed behavior mod long ago, now he has developed bad habits that have been enabled for a long time.  it will be hard to change now. and will need to be done gradually.

    you need a qualified BCBA (ABA therapist) to help you.  he needs an occupational therapist to help with life skills.

    its a tough call to use fortnite as the reward since he is addicted to it, but you may be able to work with it.

    do not make sudden changes.  use written schedules/notices.

    week one would be something like to earn fortnite, he needs to shower and brush his teeth.

    • ...Show all comments
    • James2 months agoReport

      A class action lawsuit was filed against the manufacturer. Also, I know someone with high functioning ASD who was in special ed. It ruined her education and future opportunities. It does not necessarily help people. If someone can graduate high school without special ed then that is better.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Sandy
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    take the game away. he has to go to the bathroom. do it quickly and drop it in a bucket of water. have some pepper spray ready in case he goes nuts. and be ready to call 911. 

    • UV2 months agoReport

      Doesn't work. He'll just lay in bed and day dream or talk to himself all day. Been there, done that. Fortnite just happens to be his special interest right now.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    hes not autistic , ,

    • UV2 months agoReport

      Under the DSM-V anyone who is diagnosed with Asperger's or PDD-NOS is now considered Autism Spectrum Disorder. He has PDD-NOS, this makes him autistic; just not internet memes autistic or classical autistic like Rain Man

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.