Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Confused about this guy’s actions? Please give advice?

I thought this guy was interested in me (at least attracted to me) because he would stare at me all the time, but he never talked to me. We’re in the same club, and so I’ve tried messaging him and messaging him on Snapchat, and while he responds immediately, he doesn’t keep up the conversation, nor initiate (with a very rare exception). However, before we started messaging, the people in our club had to write something about someone else in our club, and he wrote to me, “you’re a great friend and a great person!” (Mind you, this was even before we started talking). The thing that confuses me is, he’ll sometimes stare at me, smile and say hi when we see each other on campus, but doesn’t bother to message me first. I know that he’s a quiet person, but I’m really confused by his actions. At first, I thought that he didn’t want to show that he was interested, but now I’m starting to think that he’s just not interested.

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  • 2 months ago

    Chalk it up to timing. Think of it this way. Today is just as good as this tomorrow. If it is to be any tomorrow will work. He is not on your emergency time table. He may have so many other all consuming issues and to add you there is not enough time to act right by you. So he keeps the door open. He’s not gonna walk in immediately, but he is not gonna walk away either.

    If you feel there is something there for you, you can simply step up while being as casual as possible.

    Say hello, I gave the benefit by saying hello because you seems to want to talk but other distractions weigh heavy on your mind. Then simply ask” are you ok!” If you are ok no problem. Bye. We’ll talk when you are ready.

    You wanna show interest but not encouragement, and certainly not pursuit of him. Call it a friendly gesture if he questions your objective.

    Good luck

    Next Time

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  • 2 months ago

    He's not interested. If he was, he would initiate a conversation. He would want to get to know you better, ask you questions, see how your day was, etc. It's not shyness because even shy people will text/chat with you because it's not face to face. You tend to stare at people for 3 reasons, 1 you're attracted to them, 2 you feel really comfortable with them (good friend) or 3 there's something wrong with them and you just can't look away. I'm going to say here it's number 2. He wrote about you being a good friend, so he enjoys your chat, but he isn't romantically interested, because he doesn't initiate anything. Also, saying "hi" to someone doesn't mean romantic interest, it's literally being polite to someone you consider a friend.

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