Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Do you think I still have a chance of getting my ex back? Or am I setting myself up for failure?

We (I'm 20, she is 20) broke up about 2 months ago, and things were going great and we were still talking. She knows I love her and want my future with her but. She says she wants to be able to love herself and not rely on me for happiness so she isnt looking to date. But she recently told me that she was talking to her old crush, and that she has feelings for him and that he has feelings for her and they have been sexting and sending nudes to each other recently. But that she still loves me more and cares for me more and sees a future with me. And also that I shouldn't worry because he lives in Cali (we live in East Coast). But then the other day she told me she was planning on going to Cali in 4 months for her 21st bday and she said she plans on seeing him. So I've been pretty insecure and clingy recently to the point where she said she just wants space from me rn. So we have had no-contact for 2 days now, and I plan on at least waiting til one week is up before texting her if she hasn't texted me yet (cuz she is flying to see her fam and I want to make sure she lands safely) but otherwise I'm going to give her the space she needs and be there for her when if she needs it; while also working on myself. But I just feel stressed that she will move on or that she has already found someone and is just going to use this no-contact to ghost me. So am I being paranoid? Or do I still have a chance?

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    No, don’t go back to an ex.

    Ex for an reason.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Couples who can make it work do not break up. No matter how great it seemed during the infatuation phase, once that phase dies out, the problems start. And those couples who are not suitable cannot make it work .. they break up.

    So get back with him and you two are still the same people so the result will be the same. Another breakup.

    What we often call love is nothing more than a selfish attachment to someone and a priority for how WE feel. This is not love at all, and in fact the stronger this kind of "love" is, the more we are likely to ruin the relationship.

    Even actual love is ONLY 11% of what makes a relationship work. So it is no reason to get back if the relationship did NOT work. All that love does is make us HOPE we can make it work .. it is emotional maturity and inner wholeness that makes a relationship work.

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