Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Am I in an abusive relationship?

my husband is constantly putting me down and calling me names. His favorite names are pig and stupid. He comments on my weight and how I am lazy and should go to the gym several times a day and won't stop no matter how many times I ask. He laughs and criticizes my physical appearance. After he has just been extremely nasty to me or screamed at me he will act like nothing happened just a few minutes later.  He even tried to stop me from drinking water once by telling me that water has calories. Yesterday he had made dinner and asked if I wanted some. I said yes, please and then after he cooked, he came into the living room and sat everything down in front of himself with one plate and one set of utensils. I said to him " are you serious?" because to me it was just another moment of selfishness where he didn't really want to share and where he didn't think about me, only himself again. He blew up and started screaming at me , telling me I was lazy and I just wanted to lay on the sofa and that I could go and get my own plate and silverware if I wanted to eat. He cursed at me "F you! your lazy mother f***er pig. and *****. and that I ruined his whole day and that we should get a divorce ( something he threatens all the time) He won't apologize until Im crying so hard Im gagging. He laughs at me when Im upset and doesn't listen to me when I try to talk about my feelings.he told me if I would lose weight, all our problems would go away.  He says Im just sensitive 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    definitely and i would dump him

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  • Helen
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Re-read your question. Imagine a friend of yours had written it, asking for advice.

    What would you tell them?

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  • 2 months ago

    you picked him .... EDIT - only trolls come on here with with long, profanity laced narratives instead of going to someone that can help. btw, if this is real I will bet 2 to 1 that your parents told you not to marry him, so you made your own bed ....

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  • 2 months ago

    You are 100% and absolutely in an abusive relationship. I think this man clearly deserves for you to AGREE the very next time, maybe this week, he says you should get a divorce. Just get up, agree with him, stack his things outside the door of the bedroom, call an attorney and file legal separation pending divorce action. Just AGREE.

    If you magically still want this marriage, agreeing with him and filing doesn't actually mean you are divorced. It does mean that you BOTH are on notice to change whatever behaviors you, individually, have if you choose to remain married.

    Agree and take the steps. If this ends your marriage..it might also begin your healing.

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  • 2 months ago

    All of what you stated is mental and emotional abuse. 

    He should not treat you that way. 

    My dad was the same with my mom. He became unhappy in his marriage and started to call her names. After that, he would make jokes about divorcing her... ever time we would get an IKEA pamphlet in the mail, he would look at it with a smile and joke "I have to start looking at these for when I leave you"... my mom thought nothing of it as he was always smiling but it was plain and simple... mental abuse.... you cant toy with someones mind like that... you cant call them names and then ask for a hug 5 minutes later... I would say its been at least 8 years since he started making those jokes.... about two years ago, it became worse... name calling and arguing with each other on a daily basis.... 

    all this to say.... enough is enough .... they're divorced now

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  • Teresa
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Yes, it sounds like you're in a nightmare abusive relationship. I know he's your husband, but what an absolute pig he is. So sorry for you.

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  • God
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You are definitely in an abusive relationship.  Get away from that worthless piece of shitt.

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  • 2 months ago

    Yes, it does sound abusive. I think it's best that you grab your stuff and leave. Deal with a divorce once you've found a safe place to stay. If you can't find a safe place to stay, phone the police and explain that you don't feel safe around him. Threats are not taken lightly by the police, and it you can prove that he is threatening you they will persecute him. If possible, keep your phone recording in your pocket and next time he has a fit you'll have evidence of it.

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