I'm a young girl with a racist dad...how do I deal with it?
He is white yet still says the n-word and I just found the courage to confront him about it an hour or so ago but the insisted that there was nothing wrong and that I was just picking fights (we've been going through a 'rough patch' lately seeing as I've been gaining the courage to stand up to him more.) I've even explained the horrible history of that word and he still doesn't see a problem with it. How do I make him understand how horrible that word is and possibly make him stop saying it? (I understand free speech and all, but even so, I'm afraid that one day hell say that word to the wrong person and get badly hurt...)
- EdnaLv 71 month ago
As you said: You're a young girl, and you're too young to try to be instructing and confronting your dad about his use of the N-word, or about anything else that doesn't directly concern you.
Don't you realize that your dad already knows all about the history of the word, and that he's not interested in hearing your little-girl opinion? You ARE trying to pick a fight with him. Stop trying to "stand up" to your dad in an argument you can't win.
Tell the truth. You're not afraid that some day he's going to say that word to the wrong person and get beat up. You're afraid he's going to say it in front of your friends, and that might make YOU look bad in their eyes.
- 1 month ago
You are the kind of girl our future needs. The old generation know racism. They have lived it and even been a part of it. It was in their lifetime that apartheid was still rife. Many have tried to pass on racism down to their kids. And many will succeed. Slowly, but surely children will replace hatred with love. I am so so sorry you live in a world like this, but I am so so proud that you are rising to the challenge. And with so much hope and love. Never give up on equality. Never give up on the capacity for change by one, single person. Never give up on love. Your country will hit hard, but I think you'll be strong. I am so so proud of you.
- KazLv 71 month ago
You can confront him all you want, it (probably) won't do any good. Always remember, who your parents are shouldn't (and doesn't) define who YOU are as a person (unless you let it). The only person you can change, is yourself.
It IS likely that he could get hurt one day and if that happens, that's on him, YOU can't control or stop his behavior.
We all love our parents (well most of us do...lol) and sometimes we have to grin and bear it, until we're old enough to be independent and create our own life, separate from our parents.
One day, when you're in your own home, YOU can tell your father not to say offensive things - or he can leave. You don't have that luxury now - but someday you will.
- GitLv 51 month ago
What strikes me as the most impressive things about you is your last statement:
“... but even so, I'm afraid that one day hell say that word to the wrong person and get badly hurt...”. You cared about him.
Yet you never once explain that to your father, why it bothered you so much - that he might get hurt and you worries for his safety.
You don’t change a person by wanting your own way or by confrontation. You convince him by showing love and care for him.
- What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
- Anonymous1 month ago
If you truly do care about him hn ell us
what you've just wrote out on hr & make
yr hns fear's well-known to him from
- 1 month ago
It is better to leave that father and lead a separate life. It is important to avoid racism at all cost. In future, there might be trouble.
- linkus86Lv 71 month ago
It is not your job to correct his behavior, nor is it within your power to change him. Focus on yourself, because that is who you can control. At best maybe you can suggest he change is terminology, not stop being a racist.
- Pearl LLv 71 month ago
not much you can do about it, just tell him you dont want to hear it
- Anonymous1 month ago
And yet blacks use it all the time.
- PearlLv 71 month ago
just tell him you dont want to hear it anymore