Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

I don't understand who is wrong, mother or me? ?

I was a very quit, understanding and patient girl as a child. I have only one elder sister. My mother always wanted to have son but unfortunately we 2 girls came to her. As a child we 2 always try to please her by doing domestic work or by decorating house, none made her happy. I never understood why she doesn't like what we do for her. She taught us all the domestic work when we were 10-12 yrs old. She always expected from us to contribute in work, If we skipped work because of our study or play she used to start scolding, bangging utensils. She never try to make us undertook in a nice way to do our work. It was kind of torture for us. When I started growing up things became clearer that as we are girls she hates us. I am a small town girl and completed Engineer by commuting 26Km from home. At that time also she didn't spare me, I had to do work once I came back from college (I used get tired after 1hr travel, standing) there was no way to escape from this hell. Then I compled my degree and wanted to go city area for job hunting. At that time I was low confident, with poor communication skill girl but had confidence on my knowledge. But she refused me to go to city, she thought that I don't have that ability to get a job in recession period. But that was the 1st time I spoke up for myself.

Since then my nature got completely changed, I get annoyed by little things e.g. Any kmobile notification, I can't bear dot on whatsapp status, I mute every contact. 

Update:

She never hear any opposite word from us. But she accept if my cousin brother say her non sense. That cousin kicked his parents, bro, sis-in-law and 2 nieces out on his 1st night of marriage. (really big deal in India) still my mother doesn't find this as a big deal, she says he is childish. This cousins brother is of my age only. Then also she is ready to defend him but always says bad word about me while talking to my relatives.

Bcoz of all this I became feminist. Sometimes extreme feminist. 

Update 2:

Yeah now I have moved to a city and working as a software engineer. But due to lock down I came to my hometown from 3months. Because of work from home I can't contribute that much in domestic work. Though my elder sister contribute 50% of work and I also help after office hours. But then also my mother doesn't look happy (though she doesn't say it directly, but I can understand her thoughts) 

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 months ago

    You should never speak to your mother OR sister again. The world heals when families are broken up for no reason. 

  • 2 months ago

    Nothing you can do really, til lockdown is over and you can move back to where you were.  She is extremely old school and thinks women should only stay at home and clean, cook and make kids.  

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You're an adult and can move out anytime.  You might want to seriously think about this.

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