What's the deal with Tom Cruise?
He's a shrew-faced weasel with serious issues, a scientologist, and a bully. He always seems coked out of his mind and obnoxious as all hell. How did he get this way and why do people like him?
He can't even act and he lies about doing his own stunts.
- 1 month agoFavourite answer
Dear Sir or Madman
I inform you that Mr Cruise has hired my law firm to protect him from haters and agitators like yourself.
He was very upset and angry when he read this, he had a guy trace your address and he wanted to send some guys over to give you a "massage" but I managed to talk him out of it.
You do not know what this guy is capable of when he's angry. He is loco.
I once saw him bite off a guys junk in a bar fight, then he froze it solid in liquid nitrogen and stabbed the guy in the eye with it.
Only yesterday I watched him eat an entire live duck for breakfast, including the beak, feathers and feet.
His heart rate never got above 40
Get the picture? He will take you down HARD, I advise you to bring a pillow to bite on. And one for your dog as well.
A class action lawsuit of $US250 million has been lodged against you for persecution and victimisation and general bastardry against my highly respected client and his billions of adoring fans.
This guy really knows how to hold a grudge, he will follow you to the ends of the Earth to get his sweet revenge. He is such a cuntrol freak.
I have represented celebrities, athletes, hermaphrodites and circus animals and even a couple of Canadians since 1992 and I never lost a case.
Please make a 10% down-payment by close of business Friday, I would not want to have to send a bounty hunter out after you, those kinds of things always end in tears.
Have a pleasant day.
- GonzoLv 51 month ago
He's a sad mess. Jumping on couch for a woman he doesn't love. Talking down to Brooke Shields because she was on prozac. Tom Cruise has problems and 3 failed marriages.