Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceHigher Education (University +) · 4 months ago

How do I tell my parents I might wanna transfer colleges?

Sorry if this is long, I’m just really conflicted at the moment. I’ve devoted literally my entire life to music, and my mom has always told her friends how “naturally gifted” I am with it, and everyone in my town knows me for my musical talent and my getting into a pretty prestigious music college. She’s also paid so much for me to attend every semester, and I’ve never seriously pursued anything else other than music, but I have tons of hobbies that I equally love and am considerably good at as well. When I started at my college and we got to the grime and such of music making, I realized I just dont enjoy that aspect at all and instead only really enjoy performing or lyric writing. And one hobby I’ve always particularly loved other than music is linguistics and learning languages. Going to Berklee exposed me to other cultures and other languages and only made my love for it grow, and even when I’m studying hard and I’m tired/stressed, learning languages makes me so happy no matter what. I’ve been thinking of transferring colleges, or exploring more into some universities with good language programs, but I’m absolutely terrified of how let down my mom will be if I even mention not pursuing music, and I’m equally as scared of looking back later in life and regretting not sticking to music. Any help is appreciated, thanks! 

2 Answers

  • 4 months ago

    Stick with Berklee. It's the best school in pop music, songwriting, lyricists, etc. which sounds like your predominant interest. You aim to be singer-songwriter? That's the place to be. You DO need to know a great deal about music theory, composition, etc. The broader your background, the more tools you have to use in songwriting, etc. Or even get some sort of job in the industry while you try to get more gigs, make a name for yourself. 

    Foreign languages - well, that's something of interest in songwriting these days. But it is also something you can pursue outside of school if Berklee does not have extensive foreign language class offerings. 

    If you do NOT stick to your music, if you have talent (& obviously you do or you could never get into Berklee!), you will regret it every day of your life. Guaranteed.

    Besides, one more consideration. Transferring from music conservatory to regular university, you have loads of required curriculum, general requirements, etc. you may have missed, and certainly all the credit hours in a new major. You could be delaying graduation by a year or two. Mom won't be happy about that expense!

  • 4 months ago

    You are asking about two different issues:

    1.  How to talk to your mother about your current dilemma.

    2. Whether or not you should consider a different major and transferring.

    Let's start with number 2:

    Every single major on the planet has classes that aren't that fun or interesting.  They are often the nitty-gritty foundations of a subject.  Music theory and history are those types of classes for music students.  They are really just a few classes and a few months of your life.  If you want to be a song writer or performer as a career, you need to buckle down, get a grip, and get it done.  You don't have to teach music theory, you. just have to get through those classes.

    To have a career in any field you are going to have to dig deeper, work harder, take classes you don't enjoy, and master the content of the subject that doesn't particularly interest you.  Changing to language because you like culture is just going to put you in the same situation as you are with music:  you may like the idea of learning to speak a language, but you can't get a degree without doing a lot of grammar and syntax and reading and writing.  

    Youare at a point where you need to be somewhat realistic about supporting yourself after college.  Before making any decision, you need to research not only the details of what a new degree program would require but also what jobs you could qualify for if you were to make the switch.  Millions of people pursue their hobbies, gifts and interests as hobbies, gifts and interests rather than a career.  You can learn languages or study cultures without getting a degree in the subject just as you can write songs and play music or sing without getting paid.  Think about your day job before making a choice.

    Now to #1:

    You just sit down and calmly and rationally discuss the real issues and possible resolutions to those issues.  From your post it sounds like there are several things going on:

    1. You don't like some of the classes you have to take.

    2. You are finding the work load, expectations, and competition at Berklee very stressful.

    3. You're looking for an escape hatch but you haven't done research on any of the specifics of a new major, the school to attend, or how you'd pay for this. 

    4. You don't want to disappoint your mother.

    5. You don't actually have any idea of what you want to do for a career and are still looking at school as a way to pursue hobbies.  You don't have the tools you need to make a smart decision.

    Finally, do look at how far long you are towards your degree.  It's pretty easy and straightforward to transfer after freshman year or even sophomore.  Once you've started your junior year, you are going to loose time and credits it you transfer.  It is nearly impossible to transfer as a senior.  At that point, you want to finish what you started and then consider options for either pursing something as a hobby or through a second bachelor's degree or grad school. 

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