GF has a house with help from parents, I don’t and feel behind in life?

Me and my GF have been together for 1.5 years. Happy relationship and love each other lots.

Since young, she has worked several different jobs long hours with countless hours of sleep. Saved up a lot of money which her parents matched and contributed on top to help her buy her first house.

I’m older than her by a few years and I didn’t get any help from my parents.

She’s a natural born motivated goal driven girl who has always been active and ambitious. She always tries to think big and positive.

I used to be lazy and laid back. Now I try to be more focused and active in life.

Whenever she talks about her house, I just feel jealous and bad. It makes me feel I’m behind in life and on a different level to her.

In two ways:

1) from the way I was brought up, the guy should be the breadwinner and take care of the woman

2) she’s just more motivated and ambitious than me, whereas I’m the opposite

How can I stop feeling this way? I do try support her but when I’m alone, I just get thinking and feel down and depressed.

We spoke about getting a house together in the future, she said she wants to get a second house, then a third can be with me. This made me feel even worse.

If I buy a house with her, it would be her THIRD and my FIRST.

That would make me feel very bad.

She struggles to pay her mortgage anyways, why would she want to seek to get a second mortgage if she’s struggling with the first?

Any advice?

3 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    My husband too was raised in a sexist environment and had some initial difficulties with my early life success. But he's worked hard, founded a successful business and now some years earns more than I do. People who want to make it work can make it work. For you at this point though it's probably going to require putting your ego away and stepping back from that machismo you were raised with. 

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago


    Be yourself 

    Do not judge by materialism 

    If you love each other, work on your relationship 

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  • lala
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You appear to me as a unfit couple 

     She is to ambitious for you 

    and just a year and half together is very little to know someone from top to bottom 

     IN a few months you will discover another side of her and its the same for her 

     Lets time decide what you should do 

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