What can I do for a friend that’s held hostage-like at 20yrs old?


my best friend for 14 years is 20 years old.. she’s never had a car or a job.. she’s graduated high school and is NEVER able to go anywhere.. she was able to stay the night with her boyfriend a couple of times.. but other than that she’s not able to do anything.. she has to clean up the entire house when there’s 3 other kids who can do it.. she has to take her parents to the store when they’re drunk but she’s not allowed to do anything.. she took adhd medicine for 17 years and had to stop cause she was too old for it apparently and she’s super smart and doesn’t even need it anyways.. but her parents get a $700-$800 check off of her just because she has no car or job.. who can my mom and I call to help her get out of this situation? She’s tried leaving before and threatened to call the law and get a lawyer.. she’s never able to see her REAL mom (she lives with step mom and real dad) but she’s tried to come live with me and they did all that.. what can I do about this?????? 



4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    she is over 18 and can leave whenever she wants and they cannot do anything about it. She can call child services when her parents are drunk for the other kids. She can call her real mom and have her pick up the girl. She can call any relative and have them pick her up. She can call a cop and tell them she is a hostage

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  • 1 month ago

    Unless her Dad was granted legal custody of his adult daughter because there is a legal reason she is not allowed to be in charge of herself (something you do not mention).... in the USA... all she has to do is walk out the door. Her parents do not receive a $700-800 check "off her" because she has no car or job. That's just not the case. If they are receiving money to care for her it is because she has been legally designated as unable to care for herself. 

    So her legal rights as an adult have either been stripped of her through the courts.... or she can just walk out the door. If she's been legally proven to be unable to function as an adult in charge of herself.... she can attempt to prove otherwise in a court of law. There is no magic here. She's a legal adult able to walk out that door or her right to do so was stripped of her in a court of law. If she lives in the USA, it's one way or the other. 

    As her best friend, you would likely know that. It has nothing to do with her having a car or a job. You say that "they did all that"... but you don't tell us of a single thing they did. So.. what was it?? Being a functioning adult, living at home for free, and doing a lot of housework is rather a given. There's something else that is preventing her from walking out that door. It's not that Daddy and StepMom are mean. Cause she could just walk out that door if that's the case. 

    • sally1 month agoReport

      Thank you! I tried getting her to live with me but she was terrified they were going to call the law on her..they had custody until she turned 19.. but I just want to help her in anyway I can because I FaceTime her everyday and can here her step mom in the background yelling at her for everything.. 

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  • martin
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You have to prove severe abuse.  Something physical would help.  Also, drunkenness in the household is an abuse of children.  At 18, she should be able to move out soon.

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  • 1 month ago

    Honestly I think you should let her live with you 

    • ...Show all comments
    • Nat1 month agoReport

      Call the law on her? Dude, what? Be smart. They have no claim to her. 

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