Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Do I need to apologize to my mom?

This morning before I left for work, I told my mom I want to go over to my bf's place for 2 days (going over tonight and coming back Sunday) and she immediately gave me attitude. Saying I'm always listening to what my bf says (which is not true), and that I'm a unfilial daughter. Instead of usual arguments I've had with her when something like this came up, I just calmly said to her "forget it, I'm not going over". And I didn't say anything to her afterwards, to which she then said since I already packed, to just go. I found her unreasonable and overreacted on this. She made it seem like I did something so wrong that I deserved to be yelled at. And to be clear, my bf told me to think about it and let him know later in the day, he is fine with whatever decision. It wasn't like I immediately agreed when he asked me to go over to his place. I have stayed at his place before, and sometimes my mom is fine, but most times, she'll give me attitudes like this, which always resulted in arguments. I didn't argue with her this time and just did what she wanted. But doesn't mean I agree with her reaction and what she said to me. Do I still need to apologize to her? Something so simple and normal, she made such a big issue out of it.

17 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    No, you don't owe her an apology, for the simple reason she's being passive aggressive.  Nobody likes being around PA people.  When I say she's passive aggressive, I don't mean her reaction.  If she doesn't like you going over there, fine.  She gets her opinion.  But when you ended up agreeing with her and she basically said "never mind, just go", THIS is passive aggressive.  It's immature and it's manipulative. 

    • ...Show all comments
    • Edna
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      May - you wrote "When I left for work this morning". That indicates you have a full-time job & you're at least 18. Move out of your mother's house, get a place of your own, and then you can spend as many nights with your boyfriend that you want to.  

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I wouldn't. She decided she wanted the drama, not you. 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    Always apologise to your parents :) NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES

    • Terry
      Lv 4
      4 weeks agoReport

      How about NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You give no indication of your age.    That is a key issue.    Apologies cost nothing, though 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 1 month ago

    Apologies are over rated.  As a mother who didn't 'argue back', I say you should sit down and have a talk with her - use the weekend for this instead.(Good for the BF to see you're not at his beck and call and family is important to you - if he's a good man, he'll understand/appreciate this) I was very close with one of my kids and 'kept out of it' when they entered into a relationship. Over the next 12+months I noticed a change in my kids behaviour towards me. At one time if I said or did something, they'd 'just' tell me not to - now they had become abusive and began dictating and bullying me. Years later, I found out the partner had been bad mouthing me the whole time (behind my back). Twisting things I did/said. The behaviour I was on the receiving end of created quite a rift between us. I was sick of walking on eggs shells - especially because a backstabbing b*tch decided I had no right to a relationship with MY child!! Well, I haven't spoken to my offspring for nearly 10 years now. You don't want your relationship with your mother to get to that level. You can have many partners, but only one mother. Clear the air with your mother. Show how adult you are - it's likely she'll actually settle down when she see's that - knowing you're not a kid that will be blindly influenced by the first person who sweet talks you!

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    no, i think she needs to apologize to you

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    Move out. Problem solved.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Do you know what I did when I turned 18?  I MOVE OUT OF MOMMY'S HOUSE.

    Try it.  It will simplify your life.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    It sounds like you both need to dial back your arguments. Do you ever just talk about it rather than arguing. Have you ever asked her ahead of time? "I;d like to spend the weekend with my boyfriend. Is that okay with you?" (How do you think she'd react?) Do you prefer spending time with your boyfriend because he's easier to get along with? Does she know that? Maybe she doesn't want to lose her influence with you so she's pushing back at you.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Edna
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      I assume you're at least 18, so MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE!  You have to listen to her and obey her, as long as you're living in HER house.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't think you need to apologize for it.  Sounds like the time is coming when the fledglings need to leave the nest.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.