Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My 'wife' disagrees with the advice I have given to our oldest son regarding marriage and women (in general).  Am I not in the best position?

He and I have always been able to talk about everything.  He knows, absolutely, that I will give it to him straight.  We had a long discussion about it all, since he is reaching that point where he and he GF are starting to reference the day when they live together.  Am before you go on answering about stuff that you really don't know about (nor what I am asking - so shove something down your throat until you choke), I am the person in the best position to give him advice about living the best life he possibly can.  If I am not in the best position to give him advice about girls, then who is?  (This ought to be good).

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    No, you're not in the best position to give advice on living together.  To quote you:  "Divorced wife, happy life."  You are waiting for your youngest to graduate next Spring so you can divorce.  You think he doesn't feel the tension?

    I do think it's important to share the part of your life about how you haven't slowed down and STILL can and do ejaculate (not taking down your shorts, just pulling your penis through the leg) over 3 feet. (That's not the same as sex with a real live woman, bubby.)

    That might help him in his future career with the circus. 

    • 1 month agoReport

      LOL - you can never get your story straight, and makes you sound like an insolent retard.  Like Eric Cartman in the Special Olympics episode.  Dumbass!!

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  • 1 month ago

    Wouldn't that totally depend on the sort of advice you are giving him, your own motivation behind it, and how well or poorly you have managed your own life? 

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    • Barb Outhere
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      That's the difference - from someone who KNOWS how to make it work or from someone who has all the excuses why it doesn't? 

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  • 1 month ago

    It's nice to give our kids advice; however, if they make a choice about a specific partner, we need to mind our own business, and let them live their lives.  Advice is like anAsshole, everybody has one.  

    I have two adult sons.  They grew up having a variety of girlfriends. I wasn't real fond of several of them, but i let my kids ride it through and figure the situation out for themselves.  EVERY time the girl wasn't good for them, it didn't last long.  Believe it or not, our kids have brains of their own, and can actually figure things out for themselves.  

    Both my sons got married.  I wasn't thrilled about my younger son's choice but again, it was his choice, his life and i wished them well.  they have been married for fifteen years now.... she's a wonderful wife and parent.  They have a few children and one is disabled.  My son's wife is the absolute best mother.  She cares for all those kids, and the disabled child has everything he needs, including his physical therapy-she took it upon herself to learn how to care for him and his needs properly.  She's just great... so im glad i kept my damned mouth shut.  

    Truth is, you're trying to give your son advice based on your own life experience which is great.  But every one of us have our own life experience, and we learn as we go along.  Just like my son did.  

    Take care and remember, your son's life is HIS life, not yours.  Leave it up to your son. 

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Who knows who might be in the best position, assuming there is such a person? However, you are certainly in the best position to share with him the benefit of your experience and knowledge. Many people, probably including your spouse, would imagine your advice would include considerable humility, but your assertion that you are in the best position likely makes her nervousness in that regard. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You are one person whose advice he should take into consideration. But any advice you give will be what you believe is best for him. Your advice will be colored by the filter of YOUR experiences and YOUR experiences are different than his. What is GOOD for someone is not always what is BEST for them. You want him to be safe and secure but he may want something where those things don't carry as much value for HIM. This is HIS life, not your life. You lived your life. All you can do is offer advice and support. But no single person is in the best position to uniquely offer the only advice there is. Even doctors that go to school for an additional 8 years and then another 4 years of residency may be experts in their field, but if you get a cancer diagnosis, you should still seek out a 2nd opinion from another doctor. And from that information you take what you feel to be true to you. So your advice does matter. But your wife's advice, and his friends' advice are really pretty equal in terms of what HE decides is the right path for him. If he is old enough to be moving in with someone and potentially choosing a life partner, then he is old enough to live his own life. As parents of adults, we are there to support our grown children and guide them and be there for them if they stumble. But we are not there to assume that just because we have lived this life longer or that we've known them since the womb, that we are solely and uniquely able to offer advice. Your advice will be the most biased to your will and what you think should be done.

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  • 1 month ago

    It is possible that you know about life.   It is also possible that you continue to mess up your life over and over.   We do not know you.  Your 'wife' may disagree for good reason. Or not.  Did your father give you advice, and did you follow it ?

    . Bottom line is,  your son and his girlfriend will decide what they are going to do. 

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    • 1 month agoReport

      Does that change whether I am in the best position to give advice?  Thank you for the reasoned answer.

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  • 1 month ago

    You failed to say what kind of advice you gave him. If it is anything like this post I think your 'wife' is in a far better position to decide whether you were right or not than complete strangers. Shove that down your throat why don't you!

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    • 1 month agoReport

      OK, I see what you were saying.  My bad.  But for the very reasons that I need to tell them what reality is, she is in no place to be deciding whether the advice is correct or not.

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  • 1 month ago

    You sound a bit angry. I hope you were not in that frame of mind when you talked with your son. As to who is the best person to give your son advice there is no way anyone here in the Answers community who can answer that question. 

    • 1 month agoReport

      Nice answer.  Thanks for picking up on the bitterness, that's all me.  And you're right, had I seemed angry when laying out reality to him, that would have pushed him away (because adolescents usually think they know everything). I made sure he saw that reality.

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  • 1 month ago

    God is in the best position to give him advice. 

     Hebrews 13:4 

    Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral

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