Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 months ago

Should I let my family cut me off?

I’m close to turning 18 however currently have no interest in relationships and am focusing on school and working for now. Conversations however regarding the type of man I will be with have come up. My parents are split however still communicate and both of them are racist. They have begun to tell me if I was to have children or be with someone who isn’t “white” they will no longer accept me. I responded claiming I will choose whoever I feel best for me and skin colour will not be a factor. They are confident in believing It will be someone “outside” of my race and decided they will slowly cut me off from the family. They are not evil so I’m not going to get kicked out of the home but whilst I live under my mums roof I need to begin paying 1/3 of bills and become completely independent. Am I in wrong for feeling it should be my choice who I love? Do I allow them to cut me of or just listen to what they want me to do?

6 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    You're not even actively dating right now so this conversation is purely theoretical. Stop feeling the need to be a rebel and just take them for their monetary support while you can. Once you're educated, employed and living independently you can date and marry whomever you like. There's no point in arguing about this now. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    thats up to you

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Play along with their wishes while you're living under their roof.  If you're too busy for relationships and want to concentrate on school and work, this shouldn't be a problem.  Move out when you can and live your life the way you want to.

  • 3 months ago

    There are two issues here.  You live under your parents' roof so you have to abide by their rules.  If bed and board is going to cost you 1/3rd of your salary (or you will pay a third of all the incoming household bills) then you have to decide whether that's good, financially, for you......or if you can do better financially elsewhere.  Living somewhere else and being independent means you will pay (if you live alone) ALL of your household bills - or a half/third etc if you share with a friend or friends.  The second issue.  At the age of 18 you are going to be interested in the opposite sex - that's normal.  In the next 15 years you are going to check-out suitable life-partners for yourself.  That's normal too.  Your parents are aware of this and are basically just letting you know THEIR thoughts on the person they would prefer you to choose.  It's their opinion.  They are of a different generation and they ARE entitled to their own opinion.  It just happens to differ from yours doesn't it.  So why rock the boat while you live with them.  You will choose who YOU want as a boyfriend.  If he's the wrong colour for your parents, the diplomatic thing to do is not tell them about it and not parade him in front of them.  Yes, it's sneaky - but it keeps the peace.  When you are living independently, you can bring home any boyfriend you want to bring home because, in your own place YOU make the rules.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.  Your parents will, in the next 5 or 6 years, come to terms with the fact that you are no longer a child that can be chastised by them, but an equal adult who happens to have friends they can't stomach.  That will be THEIR problem.....NOT yours.  Keep the peace while you live with them and do your own thing when you move out.  Good luck

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    It is totally up to you. There is a saying that one should not worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of it's own. I suggest you stop thinking about this until there is actually something specific to decide about.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Yes, just cooperate with it.

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