Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

How to break up with someone that won't let you? ?

We've been together for many years. I feel wrong for leaving while he is at work but I feel as if there is no other way for me to leave. If I try to leave while he is there, he yells and gets very sad/angry. I dont know what to do or how to leave. This is my first relationship, I've never broken up with someone before. I've tried everything. How do you break up with someone that won't let you move out/break up with them? 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    " If I try to leave while he is there, he yells and gets very sad/angry".

    If, during and after his encounters, you feel very depressed and uncomfortable...to the point that it's spreading into other areas of your life...then it's best to end that relationship. 

    He should also want YOU to be happy if he truly loves you. Being agressive and forcing you to stay in the relationship isn't love. If he's being more of a hindrance in your life than a help, to the point that he's verbally/physically abusing you, then it's time to leave. He is not good for you.

    A lot of times, the media(and even society to an extent), says that being alone is a bad thing, and that they're "lonely". However, being by yourself does not always equal loneliness, and it's better to be alone, than settle for being with bad company. 

    He obviously has issues of his own if he'll yell if you bring up leaving him, and he's probably mentally unstable. Let the relationship go, seek therapy if you can, and block all contact with him if he's stalking you(phone #, Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, etc.)

    Never put any one person above your own physical and mental health. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Won’t “let” you?

    Relationships are voluntary.  So if he isn’t “letting” you break up with him it sounds like a type of abuse.  

    If you are afraid or if he gets violent or abusive in any way, or if you feel like there isn’t another way to do it, then while he is at work IS the right thing to do.

    If he has ever been violent or has ever hurt you or scared you intentionally then you should be sure he doesn’t know where you are going, especially at first, for your own safety.  This is how people get killed.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Just leave when he’s gone and write a text later. Then block him and steer clear of him for as long as possible 

  • 4 weeks ago

    I've seen someone break up with a guy over a text message,just so that they could chat up the guy next to them.just do it,it's not fair on him when he could go and find someone who likes him back,just wasting his time.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Leave.He cant force you to stay against your will.It doesnt matter what his reactions are,you need to leave for your ow sake.Its a learning experience.Move on and be better off.Be in a better place in your life for the future.Good luck. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    By "not letting you" what exactly do you mean?  He physically restrains you?  that's illegal and considered assault--or worse. If you want to break up, then you GO. You pack your things, you move out, you cut off all contact and if necessary, you get a restraining order to keep him away from you physically. 

    Stop feeling "wrong"--and just get the hell out.  Emotional abuse, emotional manipulation and using anger or threats to keep someone in a relationship is not only unhealthy, it's also WRONG--and may be illegal. You need help. Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline:  1-800-799-7233. They'll help you sort this out. 

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Hard as it is, you just have to be open but gentle.

    Simply say, “Sorry but it has not worked out Parts have been good, but I need to move on”

    Then do so, if need be whilst he is out.

    But.....learn from it; do not be too quick to move in with anyone until you are fully committed and certain of it.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    What you do is you pack up your belongings, and then you leave while he is at work. You can go anywhere you want on planet Earth. After you leave make sure you don't go somewhere where he has been. Don't contact anyone who he has met, and this is just a precaution. Stay under the radar too, so don't expose yourself online, or on television, or radio etc. Because he might try to look, for you, and it might turn out bad if he finds you.

    You don't have to ask, for his permission to move out, or break up with someone. If you have a large enough savings then you can either rent, or buy a home, but if you choose to rent then you would need steady income.

  • Ya-Hoo
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    Geez most women I talk to have no problem breaking up with me superfast over the most trivial stuff. Maybe you should get advice from them.

  • Jesere
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You have to know where you are moving to and slowly move out while he isn't home, get a few guys to help you so he can't prevent you from leaving or go to the police and tell them you need help.

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