Why is there always a right and wrong to parenting... ?

But everyone has a different opinion to what it is.

All my friends and family think my 3-year-olds behaviour problem is my own doing, but I've tried everything I can think of within reason... positive reinforcement, discipline. Nothing works and when I lose my temper, I feel like a failure as a mother. 

5 Answers

Relevance
  • LizB
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    Yes, everyone does have a different opinion, and too many fail to account for the fact that children are also different and may require different parenting techniques, even within the same family. No matter how great of a mom you are, SOMEONE will always be waiting in the wings ready to judge. That's just the nature of motherhood, unfortunately.

    Your 3 year old's problem may simply be that he's 3, and 3 year olds are little a******s. By 4 or 5 he may have calmed down and be quite fun to be around. Or there's also the possibility that he does genuinely have a behavioral or developmental issue that needs addressing, and if that's the case your best source of advice is your pediatrician. If she's not worried, nor should you be.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You have a three year old, she has not been alive long enough for you to have "tried everything" with any sort of commitment to anything. Discipline takes commitment, time, and patience. Forget "right and wrong"... go for healthy and relationship building because that's a huge part of discipline: the relationship. I would start with an early childhood intervention screening for a biological/psychological issue that can be at the root of "behavioral problems". Kids thrive with structure and consistency. Do you have structure to your days? Does this child know what happens throughout the day: wake up, breakfast, getting dressed, play time, etc? Do you have reasonable expectations? Three year olds have tantrums, it's normal and healthy, what would be more concerning is if they didn't. They are growing in their independence and lots of behavioral issues can come up with frustration or not being permitted to have some autonomy. Boredom is another huge cause of behavioral problems, if kids have nothing to do they are going to find something to do and that's often times not the greatest of things. Getting attention is another cause of behavioral issues, kids want attention, we all do and they deserve attention. You can choose to give that attention freely or you can wait until it's demanded. So, I would caution against setting yourself up in the mindset of "nothing works, I've done everything"... again, this child is three years old and hasn't been alive long enough for you to have given anything a decent go. 

  • April
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    Not necessarily. Everyone's learning experiences are different. No kid is the same. I wouldn't recommend getting violent with them, but they do need to have a clear idea on who the authority figure is from a young age. If you let them get away with too much, they'll be out of control.

  • Jake
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    You are not a failure.  You do the best you can.  Keeping consistent and using follow through eventually works.  Three doesn't last forever (thankfully) but it is the ultimate age of defiance during a child's formative years.  Simply put, three year olds learn to test everything.  Its difficult for most parents  (mothers and fathers both), to navigate this phase.  Learn new coping techniques if the ones you've used prior to this have failed.  Step away for ten minutes, meditate or count then calmly return and give the child time out based on age, or put him/her on a 'naughty step' but do NOT hit or yell.   Children do tire out (we do too) but they learn when you set very specific rules down and show that it doesn't phase you any longer.  

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.