I feel guilty of not standing up?
I feel guilty of not standing up to early childhood bullying.
I was grade 4. There were 120 students in a batch with 4 classes of 30 students each. I was in 4-B. I hated my classmates and wanted to be in 4-A. I would go inside their main classroom during lunch break because I liked the people there. The ones in 4-B were not. There were 5 guys who would constantly tease me.They weren't physical or calling me names. They knew my fears and played it along with me. I never bothered to tell the teacher because If I told the teacher, I felt like the bullies will hate me forever. I really didn't want to be hated to. Because of Grade 4 i became I try-hard at making friends at Grade 5 and I became distanced. No one likes a try-hard. I had to change schools because I wasn't making good friends. At grade 6 that's when I restarted and made a friend, who was also in the same old school as me but we were never classmates. He would eventually be my best friend. At High School I had to realize I have to do the right thing and it's the bullies fault if they decide to hate on me for the rest of their life. I know like it wouldn't have happened (me and my best friend meeting each other) if I didn't stand up but.........I feel guilty of not doing it. I know it's a very long time but I have flashbacks of them once a year.
TLDR. I feel guilty of not handling my childhood bullying because I thought I would be hated if I told on them.
- LizBLv 72 months agoFavourite answer
You were a child, no child can be expected to handle a difficult situation with the same objectivity as an adult would. Even now as a teenager/young adult, you have gained more life experience and maturity, and now see how you can react differently when faced with a bully. PLENTY of people your age haven't even gotten that far yet, they still feel it's important to please others and not stand up for themselves, because they don't have the confidence to do so. It's really, really hard to have that confidence, even adults struggle with it at times.
Please, forgive yourself. You were a kid, and one who didn't have enough adults looking out for you and stopping the bad behavior of the other kids. That wasn't your fault. But now you're older and have more control over the interactions you have with others, and are more empowered to resist or call out bad behavior when you see it. You learned a lot of important lessons from your experience as a kid. That's what maturity is all about.