Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 months ago

How can I take care of my ageing mother when my husband doesn’t want to give her any support?

My mom is 77 years old..a widow and ageing with deteriorating health, staying alone. My elder sis and I live in the same city as hers. Now with her facing a health problem every now n then, my sis wants her to shift to a place somewhere close to mine n hers so that she doesn’t feel lonely and it’s easier for us to be in touch with her. But my husband has a problem with it for the reasons listed below:

He has just lost his job and is not ready to provide any financial support which will be needed in case she stays in a rented accommodation 

Our kids r small and we have to plan their future whereas my sister’s kids r grown up and settled

My husband has had some misunderstandings with my mom in the past  e that he just doesn’t forget

I, as a daughter, feel that it be good for her if she lives closer but don’t know how to convince my husband to be compassionate towards her. Suggestions required for an arrangement that suits all of us..TIA

2 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    i would just do what you need to do and if your husband dont like it thats his problem

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    How does your mom actually do living alone?  Her age alone isn't a reason for her to move and she needs to be part of the decision, maybe she's not ready.

    My mom is 72 and has lived with us for a few years and she's able to live alone if she wanted to.  She has her own income, can pay her own bills and things like that.  When I met my husband, I was helping my mom financially after my dad died and I let him know from the beginning that part wasn't changing so if that was a deal breaker for him there wasn't any hard feelings but he was okay with it.  I actually paid her house off years ago but then she had some health issues for a while, her neighborhood was getting bad, etc so she sold her house and moved in with us and my husband was fully on board with it but he's a person with a lot of compassion for people, I never had to talk him into anything.  I have adult kids and small kids and they all like having her here.

    Your mom moving to another place where she would rent doesn't really change anything, she'd still be aging and living alone.

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