Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 weeks ago

Do I have a right to feel pissed?

My father in law is nice to me but he’s always ungrateful to my husband and mother in law. 

I love my mother in law but my father in law isn’t grateful to my husband. 

He’ll buy him things, make him food & he never says thank you until maybe the next day if even. 

My husband pays everything for his parents because he can afford to. 

He’s nice to me but he’s a jerk to his son sometimes. I don’t say anything though. 

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    With one big exception, most of this is pretty much none of your business.  Don't forget, the dynamics between the 3 of them were put in place the day your husband was born.   You're like a newcomer to the situation (meaning you won't change decades of behavior and it will make you nuts trying).  The exception is when you say your husband "pays everything" for them because he can.  Does this mean he covers food, housing, etc?  If so, are you ok with this?  I wouldn't be! 

    Now that you're married, most assets get mingled.  If you have kids or want them, there's no way this isn't taking away from them unless your husband is extremely rich.  It's taking away from you, too. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    I’d be pissed too in that situation. Have you ever talked to your husband about how he feels? He may just be used to the way his dad speaks and is immune to it. If it doesn’t bother him then try to let it go 

  • John P
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Not unless you are seriously drunk.

  • Trish
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    Yes, you should feel very pissed about it.  He doesn't have to kiss your husband ars but he can at least be polite and show good manners as he would anyone else.

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    really? it sounds like your father in law dont like his wife no more he likes you.

    have you been sleeping wuth him?

    he been giving you the bone?

  • 3 weeks ago

    Here is the problem.  He did not just start acting this way, being ungrateful. It was a behavior he learned as a kid, and somehow fell through the cracks, of him growing up, and maturing into a mature adult.  No one said stop to him when he was being ungrateful or abusive.  It will be hard for him at first, because once you point out his abusive or ungrateful behavior, he will feel guilty.  and mad at not only him self but at you all for putting up with it for so long. Instead of telling him the 1st, 5th or 10th time, he showed bad behavior, its how the 100th, or more. Sure most people know what is bad or unfair behavior, but sometimes we have a bad day, and acting out as we all do, 99% of the time we realize it, and apologize for it.  But if we do not and no one else bring it up, we might fall into a rut of doing it again and again.  He can not change what he did in the past, and its going to hurt, that he mistreated his son and wife for so long.  How stupid he was for not realizing it. So he will be upset, no one else pointed it out sooner.  It is his fault first and foremost, but we want out loved ones to help us be a better person and let us know when we are being bad, or doing something wrong. from being unfair to someone, over reacting to something, or having bad body Oder before you go out on a date. He might get mad first, but if he is a good man he will accept his mistakes, and make it right.  apologize and stop miss treating them.  

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I think your husband should let his dad be aware that he’s being ungrateful.   It doesn’t have to be a big speech.  If your father in law never says thank you, your husband 

    can just say 

    in a funny and sarcastic way:  “you’re welcome my son.”  Or straight up, “Dad you don’t have to always say thank you, but once in a while it would be nice to know you appreciate me.”

     If your father in law  is a jerk with your husband and treats him bad, then your husband should stop going to see him.    When the father in law asks why he has not visited, your husband should tell him straight up what’s going on.   

    People need to talk.  Sometimes people don’t realize they’re doing something wrong unless someone tells them.  Your husband should man up and tell him. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    i think you have a right to feel that way

  • keerok
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You're right, don't say anything. It's their interaction. There's a reason to that kind of relationship and you'll get to know about it maybe much later. In the meantime, support your husband in treating your father-in-law nicely. Don't ever mention his father is a jerk. After all, it may just be a harmless "guy thing".

  • 28AKO
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    it's not your place to say anything. It's your husband father and he's a man and know how to address his father if he has an issue with it. Not one time did you mention your husband has an issue with his father or think his father is ungrateful, (only you)

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