Am I being used and mistreated or just plain selfish?

Help! I am a 30ish disabled single mother of a toddler. The car I used to drive daily belongs to my father. (He lets me drive it so that I have transportation and because he has two other cars). That car ended up obtaining irreparable mechanical damage. I told my dad that I could no longer afford to keep trying to have the car fixed. I told him it would be better to just get another car. He agreed and we traded the car in for something better. I gave him $5,000 towards the down payment (it was a 2017 used vehicle). Initially I liked the car but 3 weeks later it wouldn't start. We took it back to the dealership and he ended up leaving with a different car but the same make and model. I did not know that the car had an accident on the record. Fast forward to two weeks ago, I was rear-ended at a red light. The car sustained severe rear end damage. The shop we had it repaired at did a terrible job repairing it. My father asked if I wanted to trade it in and I said yes. He told me to find one I liked and he would get it. When I did so, my he got angry and said that I should keep the car I have. He called me greedy and hard to please. I don't feel that this is right as I gave initially gave him $5,000 and I give him money towards the vehicle whenever I can. Am I wrong for being angry? Is he in the right? I am grateful that he helps me by letting me use his spare vehicle but shouldn't he consider my thoughts being that I essentially pay him to do so?

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    firstly take the car back to the repairer and have it repaired properly . If the vehicle was insured then the insurance company will take on the repairer on your behalf ; assuming you went through your insurance for the repairs . If you didnt then the party whom hit you is liable and if their repairer was the one fixing it then insist on it being repaired to standard. then live with the car for a while and your father will see your appreciation for his efforts. Have you thanked him for his help ; thanked him for spending his time helping you chose another car. Fathers liked to be thanked from time to time. 

    Source(s): father of two
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    At your age you shouldn't be relying on your father for a car 😉 . Time to grow up.

  • 1 month ago

    There are so many things wrong here.  Your original car was actually your dad's. (not yours)

    You told him that you chose not to repair that car (his car).  The 2 of you went shopping for a newer car. (a 2017).  He contributed the older car (could not have been worth much if it was 'irreparable') and you contributed $5000 (which could have repaired the irreparable one, I will bet). 

    Who actually owned that 2nd car ? 

    3 weeks later, it won't start but rather than fix it you trade it in.  You say 'we' went back to the dealership, but 'he' (Dad) came back with a 3rd car.  Did dad make the deal because the second one was his car ?  You say that it had an previous accident (like that bothered you and you would not have bought it). Did not matter much as in was rear ended 2 weeks later.

          The shop you had it repaired at did a terrible job, but you accepted it anyway (!?!?!).   

         Dad says that you should find one you liked (sign of growing frustration) and he would get it .   He should have said to find one you liked and could afford.  It seems that you decided to like a very expensive one.   This sounds like not only could you not afford it, but Dad could not either.

    Dad started out with an older car that I bet was paid for, and now he is being encouraged to sign for and make payments on a new one that his daughter will want to trade in the first time anything goes wrong.

          You should have given the original car back to Dad with a big "thank you" and used your $5000 to buy something else that really was yours.  Then you would be independent  instead of disabled.

         Dad should never have said that he would get the car of your choice for you.  He should have said "Your car, your problem", but he loves you .

    You say that you are  "...essentially paying him to...."  Think about it, What are you paying him for ?


    I side with Dad.  

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think youre being selfish

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