I want to leave my husband because he refuses to not use condoms?

Basically I recently just got married to my husband. Wedding was great etc etc.

We’re now living under the same roof, so sex is always something that’s happening.

The first three sessions of me moving in I noticed him having condoms in his bedroom and that he was using them on me. Now I don’t mind condoms if it’s a fling or a FWB but this id my whole husband, I don’t want to use condoms. If we’re both STD free, only sleeping with each other, and getting tested what’s the problem? Am I wrong for feeling like this? I brought it up to him and mentioned that I’m on birth control and we’re married so we didn’t have to use condoms. He insisted and said he would nevrr have sex with me without a condom. I was taken a back by the comment.

I’ve always wanted kids, so wearing one wasn’t going to be viable anyway if we were to start trying for a baby. I told him I don’t like that we always use them and that I prefer to get more intimate with him, but he just insisted.

I know I’m clean. I don’t even get yeast infections like that, I love having raw sex and my whole point of getting married was so I can have raw sex without feeling guilty or possibly being infected. I do not want to sleep with my husband every night with a condom. What do I do? How do I tell him this is bothering me?

53 Answers

  • L
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    LEAVE HIM.  Pack up your things and GO!

  • Good
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    If you want kids, and he wants kids, then when to have them should be decided on by the both of you, and then you plan for that.  He doesn't want to be surprised by the unexpected, especially at a time when finances are not where they should be.

    By wearing a condom he is insuring that he has some control of a when a baby comes into the picture rather than trusting another person to not forget to take their birth control pills regularly.  Women knowing their biological clock is ticking away and wanting a baby can easily "forget" to take their pill.  They can also simply stop taking their pill without telling their husband.  It happens all the time against the man's wishes, and then what is he to do?  She has insured he will be on the hook for child support if things go sour between them and he is defenseless in court.  Dr Laura says it best when she says, "A man is responsible for his own sperm."  And your husband is simply being responsible.

    So, if you want to leave like you say you do, it suggests to me that you are trying to trap him into being a father sooner than he is ready to be one.  You are newly married and haven't had enough time of living together to know if it is going to last more than six months.  You're barely married and already wanting to leave because in typical female form, you are not getting your way.  I think this is just the tip of the iceberg with you and he is in for many more demands he is not expecting. 

    Give the marriage three years, time to stabilize, time for the honeymoon to be over, time to get really settled in.  Then talk about children.  Listen to him.  He probably wants them, too, just on a different timeline.  Don't rush bringing kids into a relationship that has barely began to grow.  It is unfair to them if they are entering into something that is not yet stable.


  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    nothing like busting loads

  • 1 month ago

    If the issue is not having children since you are on BC, maybe he has some disease he doesn't want to give you, creepy.  Honestly all pc aside sex with a condom is nearly pointless at least for the man its like pretending to have sex.  Why is he so adamant about wearing a condom? He could be hiding some untreatable sexually transmitted disease, have fun. Your instinct could be right on this, this is the end of the dream, its going to be difficult for you to divorce rape him, then have a great life riding the cock carousel while he finances it if he gives you an untreatable std.  My word, the lord works in mysterious ways  haha .

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  • david
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Do you care about how he feels?

  • car253
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Either he does not want kids or he may be a germaphob.    He is afraid of germs.   Is he a germ freak?     Does he wash his hands constantly?   Avoid touching things?    Is he a clean freak?    

    that maybe why.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Men need straight talk so you just tell him.  While in the minority many men do prefer condoms because it gives them more control over unintended pregnancy and does make them last longer in bed if they have issues.

  • 2 months ago

    Coming from a Christian perspective here, I think it would be wrong for you to leave your husband just because he has condoms as his flaw for one. Maybe he really wants to be sure that there are no pregnancies until he is ready for it. 

    Coming from a possibly scientific/psychologists point of view...if you were to leave him this early in the marriage without trying to make it work, you would be creating a pattern of leaving relationships. Pressure builds character and patience, so long as we do what is right through the process, it is apart of how people mature.

    I say, be the best wife you can be,(patient, kind, ect...) and wait for him to come around. People do change over time, I have changed a lot with Christ's help, and maybe you have too.

    Leave him room to be himself while you and Jesus Christ work at his heart. Who knows, maybe you both will change enough to keep the marriage going until the end of your lives. It will just take Jesus Christ and work on your part, especially since you are not only aware of the issue but also seeking counsel. 

  • KTJoe
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Husbands can be so weird at times, he might like that tight rubbery glove. So be sexy aggressive, and remove condom from husbands gearshift. 

  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Here's a thought - he might have some disease and not told you about it, and doesn't want to risk you catching it from him. He might be trying to protect you. 

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